All the misc stuff

Not everything has to do with migraines. Some of that neurological jumble is the FMS, much like the migraine aura stage. So when I forget the names of objects, mis words up, transpose letters and numbers, confuse left with right... that is all actually the FMS. Sometimes I can not tell if it is a migraine coming on, or just one of those days. Some days I find it difficult to pick out voices if the back ground noise is distracting and sometimes a migraine aura is my hearing becoming muffled.

Here are the areas FMS effects:

Sleep disorders (e.g., restless leg syndrome, sleep apnea)
Gastrointestinal (e.g., abdominal pain, bloating, gas, cramps, alternating diarrhea and constipation)
Numbness or tingling sensations
Chronic headaches (may include facial and jaw pain)
Heightened sensitivity to odors, loud noises, bright lights, various foods, medicines, and changes in weather
Painful menstrual periods (dysmenorrhea) and painful sexual intercourse (dyspareunia)
Frequent urination, strong urge to urinate, and painful urination (dysuria)
Rapid or irregular heart rate, and shortness of breath
Sensation of swelling (edema) in the hands and feet, even though swelling is not present


So when my eyes have been acting up, aside from the visual migraine aura, it is not neccessarily migraine related, or even physical, rather it could be just the FMS. A lady at work made a comment that I seem to be having troubles everywhere and I tried to brush of this visual issue by saying it is mostly migraine related issues... but there is only so long I will be able to pull off blaming everything on migraines without sounding like a hypocondriac. While I believe it would be a good thing to inform some people at work I have FMS, even acknowledge how it affects work, I don't really want to. It leads to explaining it all and having too much advice and sympathy or the opposite and no understanding of the complexities. What is in a name anyway? They all know I have migraines, hypothyrodism, chronic insomnia and asthma... what difference would it make if I said I have a syndrome rolling all those into one condition? I think the thing is, that it makes no difference if people know or not... it does not change my functionality, my pain tolerance or my treatment or lack there of. Besides I am a great deal better at pretending I am feeling half decent when people are not actually aware of how much pain I am in, otherwise you have to be honest and can never really get away with saying you are 'fine' when you look tired and strained or are walking a little off or speaking a little wierd.

That is the thing about invisible disabilities, is that they are so darn invisible. You can pass as healthy, if somewhat sickly with random disorders that seem statistically off for the average person. You do not have to tell any one, so you don't have to worry about discrimination, yet at the same time it does affect work and there are things in the work enviroment that can improve the situation. But you naturally, after a dozen years, begin to find ways to cope with the communication issues, the pain issues, consentration issues and memory issues. Tricks of the trade, all part in parcel with living with FMS. Yet I have never been comfortable with the whole bluntly honest about my daily physical state, because by doing so it makes it harder to lie to myself and makes it all that more real and tangible... very much like how working with a moderate migraine is actually easier than sitting in silence with a moderate migraine, cause when there is no distraction and nothing between you and the pain, it is quite a bit more present in your mind.

No one wants to be part of office gossip, but I know if I told one person it would just get around, so would rather not go there. However, I really would like to get rid of the florecent lights in favour of the ones that mimic sun light... and I believe if I was classified as a employee with a disability I could swing that.
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