Going back to work

Finally, I am going back to work Monday. Return to being a functional part of society. Which will make Martin happy, since he is worried about money, no more than me of course, but I am the one that suffers when working or not. I will get money for the time missed assuming my claim is approved once they get the paperwork from my neuro, so I am not too worrried... either I use that to cover my account, or a pump all my cheques for the next month or two into that account. I have to return to work for the whole money issue for certain. Also I feel if I do not then somehow I will not be able to, becuase I get more fixed in my position rather than trying to overcome it.

So the question of whether I am ready to return is rather moot. And I don't have an answer anyway. I am obviously having troubles getting up in the morning and some drunk like grogginess when I do. That is troublesome, as it is so difficult to use will to get up when your all fuzzy and out of it. And I despise being late for work, as I think it is disrespectful. And then there is the problem with anti-inflammatories, which can be a very big problem as it is impossible to work when you are so violently ill. I am rather hoping this will settle down by the fact I will not be using them daily. Then there is the Amerge issue with the chest pains, which could be bad, expecially if my nuero takes me off them and I have nothing for the acute migraines, that could be very bad... it would be better if he lets me stay on them even with this not great side effect. I could concievably lie to the neuro... a lie of omission, and simply not mention this side effect, but I know I won't, cause I want to know what the hell it is. Just so you know, chest pains may be freaky in the possibility of what is occuring, but so way less painful than a migraine... I could totally endure the chest pains, even the worst ones since they don't last over an hour, if I was simply assured they were harmless. I have done so in the past when I had chest wall pain, which can be mighty painful when aggravated, but not at all life threatening. And non life threatening pain, well, that is just for a person to deal with as best they can.

Anyway, when you can do nothing about a situation, you just got to do it and see what happens. I will be working as a customer service agent when I return, which is technically a demotion, but it really just a filler position for me, and offically making me the best multi-tasker... just fit me in and there you go. I have done very well in this position in the past, I mean I have all the skills needed for it. It is not my favorite position, as obviously when I was job searching I went for the job I had and not this one. The reason being is that is a lot like torture to deal with forty customers in a row when you have an acute migraine... just from the effort of trying to mask the pain, smile and so forth and then the actual effort needed to focus on doing your job. My last job I wanted to quit the night I was forced to work with an acute migraine... the manager would not let me leave, would not find a replacement, and I was all on my lonesome... shaking, sick and eventually crying... stuck there after hours because I could not do the cash out and actually going blind in one eye from an impressive aura. So I know it can be so not fun. Which would be why I want to stay on the Amerge.

I wish something would just work for once

Taking Amerge every day during the whole hormonal migraine week, does not prevent the hormonal migranes. They have hit me as hard as normal, but the Amerge has made me very tired. Absurdly tired. And I think I am allergic to them. I have not read anything that links Asthma to triptans, but it is hard to ignore the severe asthma when I was on Imitrex and the noticable breathing problems I had with my first Amerge experience, and now a chest cold and persistent asthmatic breathing now that I have been taking it for days straight. Yet it also helps with the migraines. I don't get why I would have this reaction to triptans when I never did before.. and I have taken Amerge before as it was the first triptan I used. Maybe it is this asthma reaction that is making me so tired. The anti-inflamtory I am on is also causing issues. It causes some stomach pain and other symptoms I am now realizing is unavoidable with this med, but also it is not strong enough or fast enough to help with the very painful menestral cramps, which cripple me faster than any migraine could. What I am left with is me feeling like I have the cold from hell, very tired, with a migraine and cramps... both mildy treated as to not be writhing in pain but not enough for me to be able to function. And I can only realize how much this asthma, if that is in fact what it is, had totally f**ked me up. Seriously. Before this whole shortness of breath thing my migraines were managed by Imitrex and during the hormonal phase, which granted was quite a bit worse, I had an anti-inflammary which was rapid in effectiveness to help with the whole PMS thing. With the asthma I had severe reactions to the Imitex and nothing has helped since, plus I get problems with breathing and heart rate on top of everything else. And I have yet to regain that place of balance between pain and coping.

Migraines and lighting

Well we all know fluorescent light are evil. There was something in the news about them in regards to class rooms and productiveity of employees. And from a chronic mingraine perspective they are a trigger, a trigger that is in our enviroment that we cannot readily change. What employer is going to put that much money into changing their lighting for one staff member? Sure there is research that shows it causes stress, fatigue, headaches and more illness in quite a few people, but such studies really do not play into causing anyone to do anything about it. Frankly, if I had my way I would work with sunglasses on in an office with dim, indirect lighting.

"Fluorescent lights are certainly troublesome for some form of migraine and epilepsy. If you are disturbed by them - stay away or change the type of light. You are right about the frequencies - they aggravate brain waves, causing a photic response in the EEG (I used to work in an EEG department). Photic stimulation was one of the ways to elicit the migraine response, or even cause an epileptic fit."

Fluorescent light suck

Never do this...

Never leave the comfort of your home when you are having horrible abdominal pain, because when the effects of that pain work their way down you will find yourself glued to some public washroom for hours. Anyway, I have been sick since 8 pm last night, maybe it was made worse by moving around, but whatever it has been extremely unpleasant, did not get any sleep and I am at the point where I think I should see a doctor, any doctor, because this is so not good (I will avoid the unpleasant details of how not good this is). Anyway I will never, ever, ever take those anti-inflammatories again.

Anyway, the whole thing last night was rather ironic. I would never have left the house feeling as I did, because I know where it generally leads. But I have had this pain in my gut for awhile, so I risked it. I left the house because my dad, who is down for business, was sick. He was all out of it sick. Since he is the only person I know under the age of 80 with more prescriptions than me, I suspected it was a case of prescriptions conflicting with OTC meds, plus a fever from the chest cold he had. Well my brother and I had no idea what to do, since my dad has had pneumonia before and really it would not be good to have him alone if it got worse. SO we talked to his girlfriend and agreed it would be best to go to the ER. At this time I was in a crap load of pain, but was trying to suck it up. We go to the ER and as everyone knows the ER at night is a horrible place to be... unless you have a paper cut or chest pains you will be there for a very long time, and will likely die while you are waiting. So we waited and waited. While we did dad was getting slowly more coherent and wanted to leave (who wants to be in the ER when you feel like crap), while I on the other hand was getting way worse and was very familiar with their of so pleasant public washroom. When dad felt certain he wanted to go, and he was looking better (maybe the fever broke), well we took him back to his hotel room. Although, I was tempted to stay where we were because I was beginning to feel dizzy and shaky, and not wanted to leave proximity to the facilities. So ironically I took someone else to the ER who started to feel better, and I did not want to see any doctor and was feeling progressively worse. But very happy to get back home, where I spent all night in pure misery, but at least not in a fricken ER waiting room. It is just a good thing that dad and I did not have the same symptoms, either way, or people would have ran out of there thinking it was a plague or something... which would have at least bumped dad up the list. I know from experience the way they decide who has priority in the ER puts people with migraines at the very bottom, as a result the last place someone with a migraine would want to be.... and so depending on whether you are bleeding, pregnant or have chest pains you are going to be somewhere near the bottom. I don't get why they don't just get people into a room and then have them wait, I certainly know dad would have been better being able to rest and I know when I have a migraine it would be way better to be laying down.

Anyway, I feel like crap and need to go yet again...

Amerge

Well I am testing out the Amerge to see what sort of effects it has before I take it for the hormonal migraines for days in a row. Unfortunately, I do get chest pains with the Amerge, which actually surprised me a little because it certainly did not have that effect back when I first took it however many years ago. But it does now, about fifteen minutes after I take it. Not mild pain, but not freaky scary pain either. Some heart irregularities, a bit of an increase in migraine pain while it is working, then some serious fatigue.

But I am going to stay on it. It is an abortive and so it does its job well and I will need it for the hormonal migraines. So since I have to go back to work asap (the whole making money thing, lest my bf freak) I will need this med. It does not matter what side effects it has, and the so slim possibility of some sort of severe reaction, when you have to have something to get through the day. And really if I am going to have a heart attack would it not be better to have it at work, than at home? Cause let me tell you I ignore a whole lot of those chest pain symptoms, as I had them with Imitrex, before I will think about going to the ER... so if it was the big banger I would be dead long before I thought it was significant enough to bother with. I am not sure what will happen when I take it more than one day in a row, but I will definitely not be taking it twice a day. And maybe it is not like the angina, maybe it is just a side effect.

Amerge

As I have mentioned Amerge is a triptan to abort migraines, and is one of the few things good for hormonal migraines. Tripatans are the things I should not be one cause of the whole angina with Imitrex. But you gotta try when it is the only thing that may work. So I tried to day. About then minutes later I had an asthma attack. Ten minutes after that the migraine dimmed and then was gone. Ten minutes after that I felt very wobbly and tired, with heart skipped beats and a ache in my chest. By nightfall, shortness of breath again, though not as bad as at first, took my med for that.

So ya, It messed with the asthma, or gaving me trouble breathing for some other reason. Yeah, it did some funky heart thing on me and I felt a bit out of sorts. But it got rid of the fricken migraine... the five day long hormonal bastard of a migraine. I think it is worth it... so I need to take my asthma puffer a few times and pay attention to my heart rate. No big biggy. The asthma thing does not faze me really, and the puffer helps, so I can deal with that. If using it gets me through those hormonal migraines it is all good to me.

So sucks to be a woman sometimes...

Ah, yes the dreaded hormonal migraine... or the stretch of migraines that just happen to coincide with an already unpleasant time of the month (if you are a man feel free to skip this post with mild embarrassment). Hormonal migraines are quite tricky to treat, as they do not respond as well to most migraine treatments. So don't have to tell me this, since even with the best treatment and abortives, I still have 'chronic migraines' (fifteen or so a month) because I cannot avoid the hormonal migraines. It is also one of the reasons I do not like getting an anti-inflmmatory to treat migraines, because I use another to help with severe crampage (you know what I am talking about, bring you to your knees, curling up, projectile vomiting pain), and using the ones supposed to help with pain (migraines) is not fast acting enough to work for abrupt twisting pain... which means either was I am crippled by pain, since hormonal migraines are not only quite predictable, they are often quite worse. Anyway, Amerge is the triptan of choice for such migraines, which I am quite aware of as it was my first abortive, but due to the whole projectile vomiting issue I was switched to the faster acting, melt in the mouth alternatives. And then there are hormonal treatments to counter act the flux in estrogen, which I have not tried, and am reluctant to do so, since I don't want to take anything that messes with the whole hormonal balance.

However, obviously I need to deal with these differently than my other migraines, because they are not going away.

Women's headaches

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But sadly the redirect function doesn't function. I will continue to persist hitting it and see if it will eventually do something. Or s...