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Going back to work

Finally, I am going back to work Monday. Return to being a functional part of society. Which will make Martin happy, since he is worried about money, no more than me of course, but I am the one that suffers when working or not. I will get money for the time missed assuming my claim is approved once they get the paperwork from my neuro, so I am not too worrried... either I use that to cover my account, or a pump all my cheques for the next month or two into that account. I have to return to work for the whole money issue for certain. Also I feel if I do not then somehow I will not be able to, becuase I get more fixed in my position rather than trying to overcome it.

So the question of whether I am ready to return is rather moot. And I don't have an answer anyway. I am obviously having troubles getting up in the morning and some drunk like grogginess when I do. That is troublesome, as it is so difficult to use will to get up when your all fuzzy and out of it. And I despise being late for work, as I think it is disrespectful. And then there is the problem with anti-inflammatories, which can be a very big problem as it is impossible to work when you are so violently ill. I am rather hoping this will settle down by the fact I will not be using them daily. Then there is the Amerge issue with the chest pains, which could be bad, expecially if my nuero takes me off them and I have nothing for the acute migraines, that could be very bad... it would be better if he lets me stay on them even with this not great side effect. I could concievably lie to the neuro... a lie of omission, and simply not mention this side effect, but I know I won't, cause I want to know what the hell it is. Just so you know, chest pains may be freaky in the possibility of what is occuring, but so way less painful than a migraine... I could totally endure the chest pains, even the worst ones since they don't last over an hour, if I was simply assured they were harmless. I have done so in the past when I had chest wall pain, which can be mighty painful when aggravated, but not at all life threatening. And non life threatening pain, well, that is just for a person to deal with as best they can.

Anyway, when you can do nothing about a situation, you just got to do it and see what happens. I will be working as a customer service agent when I return, which is technically a demotion, but it really just a filler position for me, and offically making me the best multi-tasker... just fit me in and there you go. I have done very well in this position in the past, I mean I have all the skills needed for it. It is not my favorite position, as obviously when I was job searching I went for the job I had and not this one. The reason being is that is a lot like torture to deal with forty customers in a row when you have an acute migraine... just from the effort of trying to mask the pain, smile and so forth and then the actual effort needed to focus on doing your job. My last job I wanted to quit the night I was forced to work with an acute migraine... the manager would not let me leave, would not find a replacement, and I was all on my lonesome... shaking, sick and eventually crying... stuck there after hours because I could not do the cash out and actually going blind in one eye from an impressive aura. So I know it can be so not fun. Which would be why I want to stay on the Amerge.
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