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Hmm... uncomfortable

What an entirely ackward day at work today. Ever get the feeling that people have a secret they are not willing to tell you? And you know it is usually a bad one. I had that feeling all day today. I seriously think my job is in jepordy, no matter how I struggle play by the rules... the problem is my head disagrees and taking all those meds just pushes me to the limits, and so I disapoint and worse it looks bad. No matter that no one was willing to accomadate me when I returned to work, as a full time employee it just looks bad. Someone from another branch, that used to work at ours, heard about the two days last week I missed... which made me wonder why this is big gossip, but at least she comprehends what I am going through and recommendeds I talk to HR to save my butt. And I agree. I really, really should. Another co-worker asked if I had called in sick on Thursday, which implied the boss lady said I did not... and I did, I am sure that I did, but I cannot recall what I said, as I was all messed up and seem to be having some retrograde amnesia goin on for those two days. Anyway sucks to be me right now... nothing like ackwardness with the boss and all the staff. And a migraine to boot... a nasty visual aura hell migraine, with wapring walls, intense visual snow, fogginess, double vision and shifting white lights... that is pretty messed up even for me... maybe it is the doubling of the Lyrica... or maybe the construction we have going on in the branch. Certainly, that is kind of messing with my asthma, which explains the pressure feeling to the headache I had later, after I had taken the abortive and the heaviness to my breathing. Thnakfully, the hazy migrianes kind of give me a comforting apathy, which enables me to react without the nervous break down part.

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