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Showing posts from May, 2008

Hmm... uncomfortable

What an entirely ackward day at work today. Ever get the feeling that people have a secret they are not willing to tell you? And you know it is usually a bad one. I had that feeling all day today. I seriously think my job is in jepordy, no matter how I struggle play by the rules... the problem is my head disagrees and taking all those meds just pushes me to the limits, and so I disapoint and worse it looks bad. No matter that no one was willing to accomadate me when I returned to work, as a full time employee it just looks bad. Someone from another branch, that used to work at ours, heard about the two days last week I missed... which made me wonder why this is big gossip, but at least she comprehends what I am going through and recommendeds I talk to HR to save my butt. And I agree. I really, really should. Another co-worker asked if I had called in sick on Thursday, which implied the boss lady said I did not... and I did, I am sure that I did, but I cannot recall what I sai…

Found a good blog... for those with FMS

I really don't talk about Fibromyalgia a lot on this blog, but that is because it is just a fluctuating mass of symptoms and shifting pain. Don't get me wrong, it is the root of all evil and when several of those symtptoms rise up at once it is pure hell. But a tolerable hell, as long as I do nothing to poke the sleeping bear. While chronic migraines, well, they stop me from doing anything, including such necessities as working. I should not forget the triggers over lap, the my sensativity to light, sound, scents are all because of the FMS, and then trigger a migraine. And sometimes I am brainless because of a migriane and sometimes fibrofog... so difficult to tell the difference really. Anyway, I generally do not talk about it at all, because it is difficult to explain, people don't get it and if I can get away with 'passing' for healthy, then it is just easier for us all. It leads to a reluctance to discuss new symptoms with doctors as well, because you th…

Knowing your options, when work is not one of them...

Back in the day, I was working for a company that did not have benifits and was not willing to accomadate my increasing chronic migraine issue. Understandably, I was distraught. Thankfully, my doctor at the time thought it prudent I take a leave of absence from work in order to find proper treatment. So number one when you find yourself in this spot, is having a doctor that is willing to fill out the paperwork and also believes you should have a medical leave. So without benifits from an employer you have the option, as a Canadian, to go on medical unemployment leave. It is not 100% of what you made, but it is something.

Service Canada link to medical leave

Then there is Canada Pension Plan (CPP) for peoples with disabilities. "CPP Disability is part of the Canada Pension Plan (CPP). It is designed to provide financial assistance to CPP contributors who are unable to work because of a severe and prolonged disability." This is a bit tricky though and never tried going on …

Twisted migraine dreams

I am in peak migraine mode right now, and with work being so utterly lovely, it makes for a pain filled day. So when I get home I usually crash from migraine burn out and some feeble attempt to sleep it off. However, I don't sleep it off, if I can sleep I end up with migraine induced dreams. Today, I came home just drained and instead of going to the local fair with my bf I took a two hour nap. And as usual when I dream with a migraine, the dream has to do with pain, often expressing itself in a violent dream, a choatic dream, or lately (maybe cause of my chipper mood) dreams about intense migraine symptoms. Today I dreamed my fingers were so swollen I could not move them and then I had a severe asthma attack, dying and gasping for air as a RN arrived to think I was 'over reacting'... it was unpleasant, because it expresses how horrible you can feel without getting any help for it. Yesterday night, I had some issues sleeping all together, and then had a dream that I …