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It's all in the details...

Managing FMS and chronic migraines is all about balance. Too much of anything is never a good thing. Any change to routine can spell catastrophe. So many details and nuances that it is impossible to always succeed in avoiding triggers, but at least you can do damage control and strive for some sort of balance. But that does not imply stability, because any treatment can fail suddenly and things like life happen. Sometimes I wish I could grasp the patterns behind migraines, because sometimes when you are having a real bad month these migraine free, headache free, no pre-migraine or migraine crash, days comes out of nowhere and it would sure be cool if I knew why. The fact that spring is not kind to me has to do with both FMS and migraines; the light changes hurt both, but also FMS with its whole syndrome symptoms has unexplainable allergies amongst other things, and of course there is the simple amped up pain factor with weather changes in both conditions.

So I am a little concerned that my place of work has changed its hours, so that we are open later on thursdays and fridays and thus in a rotating shift we will be working late those days. It seems so very insignificant, but not to be underestimated. Seeing as I do not sleep, if I can get up later, I will. Which means I will be disrupting my delicate sleep cycle and not have a stable sleep routine. And this is based on my experiences with even mild shift work. In the past, so not a good thing. It is kinda scary really. My migraines have been overtly frequent lately, which is difficult enough without messing around with things. Yet, it is not as though I can say no. While I work for a 'tolerant' employer when I'm not missing work, I have taken two short term leaves in the last four years, and when I did not bounce back into full functioning after my last one it did make my work situation extremely uncomfortable, such that not only do I not want to need such leave again, but I am reluctant to even use my sick days, or suggest I am not in complete control. So using my health as an excuse to not take my turn on the late shift would rub everyone the wrong way. And it is not as though sleeping in does not sound wonderful, cause it does, so at the very least I might get some catch up days on sleep. Mostly I am worried about the migraines, since my poor sleep patterns cause migraines to go out of whack... the whole midnight migraine or morning migraine thing becoming common. This all begin at the end of the month and either I will notice an immediate negative response or it will be one of those slow declines or I will get lucky and this one time a change in routine will not kick me in the butt.
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The crowded me out of the brain. Making no room for anything else. Distraction was impossible. You feel almost frantic with the pain but must be still.

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