Skip to main content

Of all the things I miss, I miss my mind the most

This whole spring migraine season is toally messing me up. In my moments of clarity I realize I am having a great deal of trouble remembering things. A whole lot of things. Whether I took my pills in the morning. Whether I paid the bills this month. The whole month of March is a haze of remembering and forgetting. Obviously when I am having a migraine this is more pronounced. I forget names, how to do simple tasks, important facts of a conversation while having a conversation. Constant migraines pretty much mean the inability to process long term memories, which leads to a whole lot of forgetting on my part. So on the rare occasions when I do not have a migraine I try to think back and I totally come up blank on a great deal. Then you start getting that wierd surreal feeling and feel just out of sorts. I can't say I like it. There are just portions of your life that are just stumbled throung blindly and forgotten. It is no wonder time seems to go by so fast, when you finally are able to pay attention a great deal of time has passed without being remarked upon. And so you get this disjointed perception of the passage of time. I can't even tell how long ago events I do rememver occured, they are too indistict to mark with any clarity.
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Signs the pain is getting the best of you

100 Symptoms of Fibromyalgia

There was a site that had this and I had linked to it on Tumblr but it is gone. So I had to hunt down someone who found my post and posted the whole thing in a forum. Anyway it is around but I'm posting it here so I will not have to hunt it down to reference it. Now we all know the major symptoms are the wide-spread pain, but our pain isn't just muscle pain... it can be nerve types of pain as well, and the fatigue and the insomnia. And even among symptoms there are some far more frequent than others, but it should be said we have categories... like the cognitive dysfunction, which is a broad one that has more than one symptom and we often just say fibrofog. The insomnia... more than one sleeping disorder. So the list is interesting.

__ Fatigue, made worse by physical exertion or stress
__ Activity level decreased to less than 50% of pre-illness activity level
__ Recurrent flu-like illness
__ Sore throat
__ Hoarseness
__ Tender or swollen lymph nodes (glands), especiall…

When I say I am good

When people ask me how I am feeling 99% of the time I am lying. I often say 'not bad', because I feel it is slightly more honest than 'good' or 'fine'. Got sick of fine. Anyway, I lie for many reasons. 

I'm having a good pain day: They happen and I'll say that I'm good, fine, not bad. I even feel like I can accomplish great things... in moderation. In which case, relatively speaking, for Me I am not actually lying. This is a Good pain day, it is Not Bad for me and I am Fine with it. I just don't want to explain: I just don't want to explain how crappy I feel and in which way I mean. Because I am tired of it. I just want to deal with it, without having to discuss it, mention it or have any sympathy expressed about it. Because it can be complicated. It may be a migraine with specific symptoms. Maybe it is a FM flare though. Or both. And then I have to explain what it is because most people think my migraines are the main issue but I could be FM…