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How pathetic am I?

Wait. Don't answer that.

A person came into my workplace today. Someone I know very well. My pharmacist assistant. She greeted me by name, as she does when i come into the pharmacy. She asked about my migraines, since a storm was rolling in. Is this odd? Not at all. How could she not remember me when i go to the pharmacy once a week for refills. Sad. So very sad. On my part, not hers. I can't remember any of my customers names a few seconds after they are out of the office. I have to laugh, in a sad kind of way, when someone asks if a particular person is my customer because usually my answer is 'No. Well, the name sounds familiar. Hmm. Maybe.'

Speaking of which I have been living up to the brainless part of the brainless blogger. Can't seem to get a sentence out right these days. Or at least it starts off fine... 'Oh, I know what you mean, just the other day I, uh, spat out pickles fuzzle, huh?' or something much like that that made little sense to me or the customer. Sometimes I get my point across and sometimes not so much. Sometimes I just trail off and speak softer so that they might just think they did not hear me because I have a soft voice rather than my brain stuttering to a incomprehensible jibber jammer. Much like when my hearing goes, or is ringing so loud I cannot much hear anything else, I pretend to have a cold so people will not think I am an idiot for miss-hearing simple things.

What can you expect with daily migraines? There is no halting the stupid once those get going. The thing is it is not just the brain that gets tired, it is the whole me. Very tired. Very confused in the morning staring at my alarm clock trying to figure out what time it is only to find out I am running late and much have unconsciously hit the snooze button for an hour. That sort of tired. Obviously time to call the neuro and try and get a grip on this slippery slope. Thing is, it has been this bad before, and before that, and before that... the only thing that is keeping me moderately upright is the pain killers, without them I would be as I was two years ago and not doing much of anything. So thumbs up to pain killers. Maybe I ride on through this on them until I find a better preventative, rather than switching preventatives, have things get worse than worse and end up not being able to work at all.
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The crowded me out of the brain. Making no room for anything else. Distraction was impossible. You feel almost frantic with the pain but must be still.

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I ask me this as I am really in the depths of a 9 level frantic level of pain right now. Hoping maybe some writing will be a distraction, but it isn't. As I said, the pain crowds the brain. I have to focus real hard to write and my head isn't clear. Too much pain to focus well. Things become quite difficult to do. 

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