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Hermit or Argophobic?

My shrink says I am literally on my way to becoming agoraphobic, rather than a hermit that prefers her own company.  Which is entirely true.  For two reasons really.  One being, I am a reserved and introspective person that really is quite fine by myself and enjoys a lot of hobbies that are solitary.  A social butterfly would have troubles becoming reclusive, whereas I find it all to easy.  Secondly, I have trained myself quite well to be this way as a naturally pain avoidance.  You trim the fat off your life, and maybe those elements of socialization and exercise are important, but not as important as surviving the work day.  So out of necessity you get rid of them without thinking about the positive effects they had on your life at the time.  Then there is the fact you can't do things like that on a routine basis because pain disrupts routines of any sort.  And you can't make plans do do things because pain gets in the way of that as well.  Then it sort of sneaks up on you that in the house you can control your environment, but Out There you cannot.  As soon as you step out into the light pain will come.  And that rather makes it easier to choose to stay inside.

So every time she mentions something to get me out of the house I am rather resistant to the idea.  Rather not get into it and fail at it, when I can simply not bother.  But in order to live rather than exist, we need to be engaged with the outside world in some fashion or another.  So my homework is to leave the house every day for any amount of time to do any thing I wish... even if that is simply going to the cafe and reading there.

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