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Nightmares are really starting to irk me

I get the sort of nightmares brought on by sleep paralysis, mostly because sleep paralysis freaks me out. So sometime during the night, I feel awake, but then realize I can't move and then I freak out and wake myself up. Sometimes more than once a night. Thing is now when I fall asleep I dream I am awake, but that something feels wrong, everything is off, which freaks me out and I try to get up, realize I can't move, or move sluggishly, and then freak out and litterally yank myself awake. Honestly this is becoming so frequent my nightmare of waking up, but being lucid dreaming and aware of my inability to move, is rather causing worse sleep problems than my insomnia. Because once I wrench myself awake, it is hard to fall back to sleep. Also since if I do fall back to sleep right away, the same thing tends to happen. Today I wrenched myself awake and swear I saw this shadowy figure standing by the bed, leaning inward... which seriously freaked me out, such that I had to get up a bit before I tried again. Fact is, I have never gotten why people like lucid dreaming as it feels wierd to me. Sure when in a dream, realizing you are dreaming can be fun. But when you have sleep parlysis, you are more aware than you should be, certainly aware enough to know you are in that natural state of sleep paralysis... so it gives you a feeling you are awake, but not quite and to me that just feels wrong. That sense of wrongness freaks me out even before I realize I have mobility issues.
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