Skip to main content

yay me... my right eye decided to go funky along with the right ear

So I still cannot hear on the right side, excluding the insanely loud ringing that is driving me crazy.  Today, just for fun, my brain decided to muck up the right eye.  It is like having a cataract, it is all hazy and makes everything looked doubled, which is so much fun.  The visual snow aura is also stronger than it usually is, in that usually it is just pin-prick white sparkles and now it is pin-prick white, black and blue sparkles with the occasionally larger black or while blob.  And of course the migraine pain itself is still there. 

My first day back at work was alright.  It was a half day, so that is not too bad and I am not taking customers yet, so also not too bad.  However, I do have this status migraine joyness to deal with and just stepping outside made that worse.  At least I have been able to keep a grip on my emotions... going for an all out numbness, which works since I have to hide the pain somehow and still be able to talk to co-workers about how I am doing coming of the leave without spontaneously erupting into tears.  Not sure how long that is going to last since really I am not handling the whole mask my pain so well these days.  I tend to avoid eye contact when someone asks me about how I am doing, maybe because it easier to lie that way.
1 comment

Popular posts from this blog

Signs the pain is getting the best of you

100 Symptoms of Fibromyalgia

There was a site that had this and I had linked to it on Tumblr but it is gone. So I had to hunt down someone who found my post and posted the whole thing in a forum. Anyway it is around but I'm posting it here so I will not have to hunt it down to reference it. Now we all know the major symptoms are the wide-spread pain, but our pain isn't just muscle pain... it can be nerve types of pain as well, and the fatigue and the insomnia. And even among symptoms there are some far more frequent than others, but it should be said we have categories... like the cognitive dysfunction, which is a broad one that has more than one symptom and we often just say fibrofog. The insomnia... more than one sleeping disorder. So the list is interesting.

__ Fatigue, made worse by physical exertion or stress
__ Activity level decreased to less than 50% of pre-illness activity level
__ Recurrent flu-like illness
__ Sore throat
__ Hoarseness
__ Tender or swollen lymph nodes (glands), especiall…

When I say I am good

When people ask me how I am feeling 99% of the time I am lying. I often say 'not bad', because I feel it is slightly more honest than 'good' or 'fine'. Got sick of fine. Anyway, I lie for many reasons. 

I'm having a good pain day: They happen and I'll say that I'm good, fine, not bad. I even feel like I can accomplish great things... in moderation. In which case, relatively speaking, for Me I am not actually lying. This is a Good pain day, it is Not Bad for me and I am Fine with it. I just don't want to explain: I just don't want to explain how crappy I feel and in which way I mean. Because I am tired of it. I just want to deal with it, without having to discuss it, mention it or have any sympathy expressed about it. Because it can be complicated. It may be a migraine with specific symptoms. Maybe it is a FM flare though. Or both. And then I have to explain what it is because most people think my migraines are the main issue but I could be FM…