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When You’re Not Sick Enough

When You’re Not Sick Enough A very good essay. And when is sick enough enough anyway? And no, I have proven it is not when you want to kill yourself or when you try to kill yourself... maybe when you actually do, but then it is rather moot. And I hate that people have this unreal expectation that you ought to 'look sick' and that when you 'look fine' clearly you are in no pain. That is plain idiotic. When I look like crap it is usually when migraines hit that special lets throw up all the time look of pale and trembling. Or that I have not slept in days because I can't bludgeon myself with a pillow look. Otherwise pain is rather easy to mask... with a little extra makeup and a fake smile no one knows the difference. Unfortunately 'sick enough' to warrant long term disability is really not something everyone agrees on. Although it is odd people seem to think I am okay to work every day full time when working every day full time without to ability to call in sick is what led to my little leave of absence in the first place. But clearly trying to kill myself because of my pain problem amazingly cured my pain problem such that now I am totally fine with enduring a daily torment much like I image hell must be like.
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The crowded me out of the brain. Making no room for anything else. Distraction was impossible. You feel almost frantic with the pain but must be still.

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