Stupid Status migraine

That migraine from Monday? Yep, still got it.  Course now it is not responding to any treatment so the bes I can do it wait it out.  Not much I can do during the work week.  Let's just say it is really straining my pain tolerance going to work with this beast.  I have used triptans for three days in a row, in hopes I could kick it, but it only dulled it for a bit, which helps get through part of the day at least.  That there is the max amount triptans can be used in a week, before they can potentially cause more problems than they solve.  In my case I am not so much worried about a rebound headache but rather the compounding side effect I get with triptans that gets worse the more I use them.  It seems to be an adverse affect on my breathing, perhaps because I have asthma, so it feels like there is pressure on my chest and I am not getting enough air.  Do that for a few days and then I also get a quirky heart beat and those sharp stabs of pain.  At one time my neuro had taken me off triptans altogether because he said taking case of the asthma, and breathing, were more important.  I am not sure I agree and thus my hesitancy to mention this side effect again.  First, triptans are that front line attack on migraines, in their entirety, not just the pain.  The can abort a migraine, not just dull it.  Secondly, as long as I am getting enough air to stand, I am not too concerned over the side effects really and I make sure to keep an eye on it so if it gets worse I switch to pain killers.  Today was that cut off, now that I am getting a cough and wheezing I know I crossed that line even if I had not hit the three times a week mark.  Thirdly, if I am to be considered capable of surviving work I need a triptan.  Simple as that.  He takes me off that or messes with my meds even a little and I am totally screwed.  Mostly because my work situation has not changed any, so any weakness on my part will result with the same ordeal with work.  I don't have any leeway for changes to my medication which is why I have not called my neuro back like I should have five months ago.  I mean, these guys all have different rules and I am the one that has to suffer through whatever complications they place on me.  Work wants me to be the usual healthy employee, who if I am suffering has the decency to do it quietly and not actually affect my attendence and performance.  My neuro wants to adjust my medication to get me out of chronic migraines, while making sure it does not adversely effect my other health conditions or emtional stability. 

Sucky thing is now that it is status migraine mode, stupid tenacious migraine, that means in all likelihood this beast will be present tomorrow and Friday.  Not likely little sleep and eight hours of work and light is going to improve the situation.  As long as I make it to the weekend intact I can see if I can sleep it off. I wish I had more options in treating these horrific migraines.  Like I wish I could call in sick from work without suffering the consequences, guilt and possible negative punishments, such as demotion or being fired.  I mean, would be nice to at least have the option.  Also would be nice if I had an action plan with my neuro and the ER.  As it is there is no point in going to the ER waiting three hours to get in for them to treat it like any other migraine.  Status migraines need a more careful assault.  I have read about such things from other bloggers, so I can wish.

Another sucky thing is this is not my usual peak migraine time of the month where I do tend to get into a status migraine.  Nope, this is an extra one free of charge.  Maybe weather related.  Definately not helped by my recent bout of insomnia.  Does not matter what cause it.  I just have to ride it out and then in about a week and a half go through the damn thing again, assuming I get a break.  I know when I am between preventatives, or not on medication at all, that is what happens... it is just one long migraine streak stretching into another.

So really a crappy week.  Today at work we got the results of the employee survay and some of the low scores likely are from me due to what happened last year with work... but I only ranked low the areas where they failed to follow company directives.  I think upper management at the time had an extremely narrow view of what a disbility is and is why they were such asshats.  I also ranked questions low on would I recomend my employer to other people... and that is a hell no.  I would to perfect strangers who are healthy, and have, but not to anyone who has any sort of chronic illness.  The reason i do not mention the name of the company I work for is because on this blong I mention all the really negative aspects of dealing with a disability at my particular location and that could be seen as publicly smearing the name of the company which employees can get in trouble about.  So if you have nothing nice to say... don't mention your employer by name.  Hard to recommend them to others when you cannot say who you work for, not that I would recommend them to people who have chronic pain.  I also said I would not recommend products and services to family and friends.  I used to prior to last year... I know the biz and if I am willing to help perfect strangers 100% with their finances then I am certainly willing to do so with family and friends.  I had to put the score low on that one because obviously family and friends know where I work, and obviously even if I tried to downplay some of the things that occured (cause I, as well as my employer, like to blame me for being sick too... gotta love guilt)... does not matter, because they saw the effects on me.  My ability to manage the pain was a constant struggle last year, and it got very bad.  It began to severely affect my insomnia and that made it even worse.  Throw in all that work crap, threats, failures to compramise.  Well, the end result of that ended me on a very sudden leave of absence which my family firmly blamed my employer for.  So there is no way they would deal with them, even if I did recommend something.  I agree with them there.  If someone I loved was treated by their employer like that, I would personally never deal with that company again.  Everything else I ranked well enough since I like my co-workers, think we work good together... and all that jazz.  They don't ask questions about diversity and disability... cause that would be a big 0.  Take me out of the senario and I think that branch works great, maybe some things need to be tweaked but I have no issue with them.  Hey, as long as I can hold onto my job without wanting to kill myself I'm happy.
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