I hate scary side effects

I have had a long history of having issues with triptan abortives.  Shortness of breath and chest pains mostly.  At one time a doctor of mine took me off all abortives and put me on a super strong anti-inflammatory instead, which led to some serious stomach side effects, a short term leave of absence and the inability to ever take any sort of anti-inflammatory again.  Not a fun time.  So I am always reluctant to mention any adverse side effects because a triptan abortive is not an option, it is a necessity.  If I did not have that medication to treat an acute migraine I would be physically incapble of working... no debate about it.  However, since whether or not to call someone with chronic pain 'disabled' means we either continue to work or we quit and starve, it means we have to have any and all treatments available at any given time to get through the day.  Triptans are the only medication that can treat an acute migraine.  I have never been on a pain killer that does the trick and enables me to function, because pain killers are just there to decrease the pain, not get rid of the migraine or any other migraine symptoms.  The only reason some of us have pain killers is because our migraines are so frequent that we get more migraines than can be treated by triptans (as in max triptan use is three a week).

So if I mention that they bother me I run the risk of not getting them, which means I will have to try and function through far more pain and work and I know that is not possible for very long.  I've tried it numerous times and it just cannot be done.  Unfortunately the more times I use a triptan in a week the more worrisome the symptoms become.  I used my triptan three times last week and three times this week.  After the first three times I began to have shortness of breath, then this week it moved on to that fluttering, skippy heart beat that lasts for a few minutes, goes away, then comes back.  I ignore it.  I ignore it even when I start to get an ache in my chest.  I do think however that the last time I passed out, and my heart had been doing that butterfly flutter bit, it was due to the triptan.  So it is possible that might happen again.  Sometimes I think I should warn my spouse or co-workers, just so that if I do pass out they will know the cause and if an ambulance is called they will know the cause.  But I can't mention it without sounding way too dramatic. God forbid I sound dramatic, eh? Can't have that. But I know the bad symptoms over the normal triptan side effects so I can wait and see... and if it does get bad I can wait and see if it goes away and take more asthma medication as needed.

The side effect concerns me.  But the triptans get rid of some serious migraines which gets me through the day.  And the side effect does not overly concern me because, hell, if they gave me a heart attack, at least I would ger a vacation from work.  My neuro was seriously concerned over these side effects... he said breathing was more important that migraines.  I just don't agree sometimes.  If I can breath enough then who cares?  And I don't think anything serious will happen from a bit of an asthma reaction and a fluttering heart.... at the most passing out for a few minutes.  it is the sort of think I consider when taking the triptan.  First, I try not to take them two days in a row.  Secondly, I am not comfortable taking them in a work setting and would prefer to take them at lunch, lie down for a bit, and hope that gets through the side effects.
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