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I wish there was a point to all this

There are times when I think about the decades of pain ahead of me that I am just frozen in terror at the thought of it.  So I tend not to think. Period. Sometimes though I want to do something about it.  Not me specifically because I do quite few things that make little difference, but rather for us altogether.  Raise awareness or something.  Because those of us with chronic pain suffer so damn quietly.  I know that hurts a great deal and we suffer more because of our silence but also we feel that our voice is not heard when we have the audacity to complain about our pain.  That is the fustration I have faced this last year and why I get ticked when people tell me how well I am doing.  It is like last year never happened.  Like my losing the battle was no big deal.  It should be though, right?  I may have accidently survived, but some of us don't.  I mean I complied a collection of my past diary entries and blog entries so that I could see the very slow progress to that suicide attempt and it is nasty, but asside from that, there were at least five posts or entries refering to someone else killing themselves.  We care about that.  We worry it could be us in five years or ten years.  But after last year I just felt like I had no voice.

I love having a blog because it gives me a voice and maybe that helps anyone that reads it.  I sure hope it does.  And I write articles, as I have posted on the side bar and I think those might help bring awareness to facets of our lives.  And I could even make an e-book with those articles and blog entries and sell it, but it would not reach many people.  Maybe I could donate the proceeds to a worthy migraine association.  And then at least I could try and help us.  Not sure if that would work, but it is something I was thinking about.  And myabe I could have others write a bit about their struggle and add that in.  Or write an essay about what the pain does to them. But I would need to know of a good migraine association to give the donations to.  In Canada I have not found much, but if anyone knows of any I would like to know.  If not, then an American one or a National one. And I have another option that I am thinking about to get the word out.

I want us all to connect together.  Read each others posts, make comments.  Give support when needed.  Share stories.  I think us connecting together is important.  I just wish I could do more.  Reach more people who suffer like we do, reach more people that done so they can finallty 'get' it.

I don't know but maybe if I could do my part in raising awarness or helping others then there would be a point to all this.
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