Skip to main content

I just can't wake up

I admit my migraine symptoms have been erratic and intense, which is disturbing and difficult to function around.  That's just the way my brain rolls and it is not like my workplace has accomadation for someone merely crippled by pain to help get me through a rough spot... they prefer the make things ways more stressful approach.  Not to say it is getting to me, yet, just that it annoys me. I think all work places would be the same really becase who wants a chronically ill employee right?  That doesn't make it right some of the crap companies pull on us, but I think the bias and discrimination is probally univerally found in most places of employment.  I mean my workplace almost killed me, literally, and that is pretty impressive.  But I made it through 2011 without jumping off a cliff and that was my New Years resolution that year.  So Yay me.  Which means I try not to let that crap get to me as much.  But I am struggling with the migraines lately, added with the numbness in my hands, adding in the episodes of vertigo, adding in the increase in intensity to my visual aura making everything warpy.  It is hard-er.  Now since the vertigo began and maybe it is a part of that symptom I have had the worst fatigue ever.  It could be a fibro thing saying 'hey, the pain is draining you, deal with it'.  It is severe fatigue though.  After I drag myself out of bed I am confused and disorientated.  I begin to shake that off but I am still sluggish and tired.  I manged to get dressed and out the door and to work.  About an hour in I start yawning and craving a nap.  By the time lunch rolls around I go home and do have a nap, to the point of almost falling into a deep sleep and sleeping in.  I drag myself back to work and the fatigue begins to effect my consentation and my eyes get all wonky, having troubles focusing on the screen like I have not had enough sleep or something.  But I am getting enough sleep, so it is just crazy fatigue that won't go away.

I tried eating sugar to give me a boost.  I tried eating regular meals.  I tried shooting coffee to try and wake up a bit.  I tried sleeping in on the weekend.  I tried taking an extra nap on the weekend.  Nothing is shaking this fatigue.  Really sucks.

On a good note, crazy ass migraines asside, my neuro appointment is this month.  So less than a month and I can get some answers.  I am putting all my hope on him but he may not have answers and he may not know what to do.  That scares me.  I know he does not have a magic pill that will solve all my problems.  I just want answers and potentially something that can make things just a little bit better.  Thats all I ask.  A little bit better.
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Signs the pain is getting the best of you

100 Symptoms of Fibromyalgia

There was a site that had this and I had linked to it on Tumblr but it is gone. So I had to hunt down someone who found my post and posted the whole thing in a forum. Anyway it is around but I'm posting it here so I will not have to hunt it down to reference it. Now we all know the major symptoms are the wide-spread pain, but our pain isn't just muscle pain... it can be nerve types of pain as well, and the fatigue and the insomnia. And even among symptoms there are some far more frequent than others, but it should be said we have categories... like the cognitive dysfunction, which is a broad one that has more than one symptom and we often just say fibrofog. The insomnia... more than one sleeping disorder. So the list is interesting.




GENERAL
__ Fatigue, made worse by physical exertion or stress
__ Activity level decreased to less than 50% of pre-illness activity level
__ Recurrent flu-like illness
__ Sore throat
__ Hoarseness
__ Tender or swollen lymph nodes (glands), especiall…

When I say I am good

When people ask me how I am feeling 99% of the time I am lying. I often say 'not bad', because I feel it is slightly more honest than 'good' or 'fine'. Got sick of fine. Anyway, I lie for many reasons. 



I'm having a good pain day: They happen and I'll say that I'm good, fine, not bad. I even feel like I can accomplish great things... in moderation. In which case, relatively speaking, for Me I am not actually lying. This is a Good pain day, it is Not Bad for me and I am Fine with it. I just don't want to explain: I just don't want to explain how crappy I feel and in which way I mean. Because I am tired of it. I just want to deal with it, without having to discuss it, mention it or have any sympathy expressed about it. Because it can be complicated. It may be a migraine with specific symptoms. Maybe it is a FM flare though. Or both. And then I have to explain what it is because most people think my migraines are the main issue but I could be FM…