Anxious about neuro pending neuro apt... in fact I know now, I almost want to ask for a different one

There is always a certain amount of wariness when you are going to see a new neurologist when you have chronic migraines. This is because a) he could know significantly less than your previous one b) he could be an egotistical bastard c) he could completely change your medications and cause some significant damage or d) he could be completely indifferent to your problems and your problems could be severe.

In my case my previous neurologist was very knowledgeable and I was very discouraged he ran out of ideas, but I get how he did. With my aura becoming more intense and not responding to any of the medications known to treat auras, with fibromyalgia and my sleep issues being a complication that seems to constantly aggravate the migraines and with the preventives we have tried not having any real impact on intensity or frequency. Medications have done different things, just not anything significant. He was just spinning his wheels so he tried one more thing and it was actually helping but then there was an adverse affect. So suggested a headache specialist clinic. Fine. I get it. The clinic has a long waiting list though.

So my doc said while we are waiting why not try this 'migraine specialist'. So he referred me on to this neuro fellow. Then I go on short term and as I have posted previously I don't think it will lead to long term... but I think I need long term. I think I am currently unable to cope with the pain I am in and work. I like work the work I do, I like the people, I like the distraction, and I like the positive stress... but the pain is far more intense, less controlled and it makes me frantic and the in the long term I can't handle it and the doctor can't just keep putting me on these short term leaves and I can't just keep missing the amount of work I do. Nor can I pretend it isn't a problem when it is. My emotional stability has been an issue since 2010; prior to that I could pretend it wasn't, I could pretend it was just a bad pain day that made me have 'dark thoughts' even if I had lots and lots of bad pain days and work was making me feel like crap emotionally, but I could be so stoic about it. I can't even pretend anymore. So it needs to be dealt with. I need the long term. I need to fight for it. I essentially need this neurologist to understand I need to be on long term on that first meeting because it depend on him to fill out the forms. So it depends on how he handles his migraine patients. And I found out he isn't a migraine specialist at all... he is a neurologist and they do not put migraines high on their list of priorities, the first rounded neuro I saw at a hospital knew very little and he ran out of ideas after three preventives  Three. Out of over a hundred. So i worry he will not have the knowledge to be able to handle me and know where to go with me after all the meds I have tried. I worry he will because he won't know what to do either a) take me off everything and but me one something he is familiar with which will really screw me up and could cause things to get significantly worse or b) blame me for them being as bad as they are... a common enough tactic. Which will piss me off. I know my migraines when chronic not because of medication overuse and I will be pissed if he blames me and then takes away all my meds for what is it like six to eight months? I will die in that time.

So I am worried about the knowledge and I am worried he will severely mess up my treatment. Now the other two worries that he is one of those specialists with a huge ego and is dismissive of people who do not listen to him, or he thinks have mental problems not health problems, or dare to contradict him. Those concerns are very valid in my case because it turns out this doctor was the very first neuro my younger brother went to see about his migraines. His migraines are complicated but not complicated like mine. Mine are daily and complicated by FM, sleep and hypothyroidism   His are complication because he does definitely get migraine with aura... but he also gets what presents as classic cluster headaches.  But his pattern is erratic. Straight headaches for a month, nothing for a could of weeks, then straight migraines for several weeks, then nothing for a month. And it could be that he has both mixed in there. He also has sleeping issues indicative of FM, but is sure he doesn't have it... but either way his sleep problems are a huge trigger. He doesn't respond to triptans at all.  So he goes to this guy and he didn't even confirm my bro had migraines, just said so your doctor tells me your getting migraines.  He told him things like to stop taking OTC painkillers like his doc told him to do.... but if he needed to take 4 because he is fat and 2 will be nothing to him. Then he said there are only two options one is botox and the other is some preventive my bro could not remember but a think it must have been Elavil because it is always first, and my bro had already been given it by his doctor and it did nothing. Well, the neuro says often GPs give the wrong dosage to fat people and it is like a drop of water in the ocean. Your so big you would need far more for it to be effective. Then, of course, he told him to exercise. To not drink caffeine  He didn't explain anything to my bro about migraines or answer any of his questions. Didn't ask about his symptoms. Nothing. Utterly effing useless. My brother refused to see him again, was really pissed off and has not seen any neuro since. He is not on a preventive or alternate pain control they use when triptans don't work. Because that guy was an asshat. So I told my brother to see my old neuro who was awesome, knew his stuff and got migraines himself. A very nice man and he never insults people.

I looked the guy up online to check his ratings. He has a good rating, so middle of the road. Some people really like him.... his MS patients it seems really like him. Other patients find he talks down to them, some where outright insulted and some questioned his treatment and he refused to treat them after they dared to do so. More than a few he would diagnose something quickly, insist it was what it was like 'just anxiety' and never see them again and it turned out to be something serious when they got a second opinion. More than a few times. More than a few times he insulted people.

And this is the sort of guy I want to treat my complex migraines. Who i want to look at my treatment and figure out something new or a different approach  Yeah right. It isn't going to happen. I don't even know if he will be the least bit helpful at all for helping to put me on disability if he is such an asshat. I guess I will find out the hard way. Joyness. I've dealt with his sort before. I'm usually amazed their monstrous egos can fit in the room. And I already don't like him for how he treated my brother. It pisses me off that he treated him like that. I almost want to go back to my doctor and refuse to see him on those grounds. Send me to someone different... because if that is how he treats a new migraine patient and one who gets severe migraines and is having trouble working and finishing his degree as a result now then those of us who have had migraines for years have no hope in hell for better treatment. He was completely dismissive to my brother at the early stages of treatment, when he could have been of the most help and figured how what was really going on.
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