This is a picture of the inside of my brain right now. For some reason my migraines have been going nuts and it isn't even the time of the month for them to go nuts yet, so that is going to be fun. It has been real consistent and last night I had a real acute killer one which actually made me get up... stagger into the kitchen and take a triptan. That enabled me to get to sleep but this morning I woke up with one and it has been around all day. Very symptomatic as well. The pain is lingering at an 8 but I don't want to take anything for it; i'm out of triptans and the toradol shot made me quite sick last time. My ears are ringing so loud I just have to have some background noise so it doesn't drive me nuts. I'm extremely sick to my stomach which is a rare symptom for me for a none hormonally triggered migraine. The pain is radiating all the way through my head and down into my neck. I can't tolerate any pressure at all. You know how sometimes if you apply pressure in certain areas or such it sort of releases a bit of tension? I'm beyond that point... my skin hurts too much. Movement hurts too much. But that being said it hurts more to lie down in the quiet and just be there in the pain. So I'm going to try listening so some music softly and doing some writing to focus on something other than the pain. Although I might need something to combat the nausea because that is getting a bit distracting.
It is weird what we do to distract ourselves from pain. I know those of us with chronic pain are able to do things in pain others cannot comprehend because we have the ability to take a bit of pain to distract segment ourselves from the majority of pain. And studies have verified it as well. But I think it is a trick we learn by always being in pain. I have never heard someone with an acute migraine deciding it was a fine idea to read a book... but I read A LOT. A LOT A LOT. I cannot emphasis that enough. People think it must be painful to focus on the words or difficult to read. They would be right actually on both counts. Sometimes it is actually impossible under certain conditions but I read under dim lighting and that actually makes it easier with my highly sensative eyes and never with light that is direct. I also sort of speed read, so I don't focus on each word, sort of skim... so you might say I read very quickly. I do get fuzzy vision and double vision, but when you read like I do it isn't that big of a deal and if it becomes an issue I switch to my Kindle where I can make the letters bigger. The Kindle doesn't have a compter like screen but a flat non-lit surface like a book. MOST important unlike a TV which is bright and makes my eyes hurt and my vision hazy, a book absorbes me and my mind into a world... I don't see the words I see the story and that distracts me from the pain. If I can get lost into a story and not think about the pain, or as much pain, then AWESOME. But I can only do that because I get migraines all the time. And after enduring a day with a migraine at work I want to relax and distract myself from the pain in a way that is going to give me comfort.
I am also a freelance writter and ebook writer so sometimes I will write to distract myself from pain. And people are always berating us for being on the computer when we have a migraine... if you had an acute migraine you wouldn't be on the computer. Really? Well my computer screens brightness and contrast is dimmed down to nill almost, the lighting in the room is dim and indirect. Some might even have screen covers of different shades, or programes that help with visibility. Either way we know how to make in more comfortable. Secondly, again, we are always in pain and when our level of pain is not screaming acute we can function better than a normal person would at moderate pain. The computer is a great source of comunity, of disctraction, and connection to others. Why wouldn't we use it since a lot of us are hermits? With my writing it is more of focusing on something; rearching an article, writing an article, writing a story, editing a story... it requires thought and focus and it distracts me... expecially when I get into a flow.
People expect us to be laying around wallowing in pain all the time. If we did that we would be tormented by the pain. There are times when the pain is so severe we cannot get out of bed and that pain is made even worse by the very fact we cannot be distracted from it.