Skip to main content

Bad pain day and wondering about our distractions


This is a picture of the inside of my brain right now. For some reason my migraines have been going nuts and it isn't even the time of the month for them to go nuts yet, so that is going to be fun. It has been real consistent and last night I had a real acute killer one which actually made me get up... stagger into the kitchen and take a triptan. That enabled me to get to sleep but this morning I woke up with one and it has been around all day. Very symptomatic as well. The pain is lingering at an 8 but I don't want to take anything for it; i'm out of triptans and the toradol shot made me quite sick last time. My ears are ringing so loud I just have to have some background noise so it doesn't drive me nuts. I'm extremely sick to my stomach which is a rare symptom for me for a none hormonally triggered migraine. The pain is radiating all the way through my head and down into my neck. I can't tolerate any pressure at all. You know how sometimes if you apply pressure in certain areas or such it sort of releases a bit of tension? I'm beyond that point... my skin hurts too much. Movement hurts too much. But that being said it hurts more to lie down in the quiet and just be there in the pain. So I'm going to try listening so some music softly and doing some writing to focus on something other than the pain. Although I might need something to combat the nausea because that is getting a bit distracting.

It is weird what we do to distract ourselves from pain. I know those of us with chronic pain are able to do things in pain others cannot comprehend because we have the ability to take a bit of pain to distract segment ourselves from the majority of pain. And studies have verified it as well. But I think it is a trick we learn by always being in pain. I have never heard someone with an acute migraine deciding it was a fine idea to read a book... but I read A LOT. A LOT A LOT. I cannot emphasis that enough. People think it must be painful to focus on the words or difficult to read. They would be right actually on both counts. Sometimes it is actually impossible under certain conditions but I read under dim lighting and that actually makes it easier with my highly sensative eyes and never with light that is direct. I also sort of speed read, so I don't focus on each word, sort of skim... so you might say I read very quickly. I do get fuzzy vision and double vision, but when you read like I do it isn't that big of a deal and if it becomes an issue I switch to my Kindle where I can make the letters bigger. The Kindle doesn't have a compter like screen but a flat non-lit surface like a book. MOST important unlike a TV which is bright and makes my eyes hurt and my vision hazy, a book absorbes me and my mind into a world... I don't see the words I see the story and that distracts me from the pain. If I can get lost into a story and not think about the pain, or as much pain, then AWESOME. But I can only do that because I get migraines all the time. And after enduring a day with a migraine at work I want to relax and distract myself from the pain in a way that is going to give me comfort. 

I am also a freelance writter and ebook writer so sometimes I will write to distract myself from pain. And people are always berating us for being on the computer when we have a migraine... if you had an acute migraine you wouldn't be on the computer. Really? Well my computer screens brightness and contrast is dimmed down to nill almost, the lighting in the room is dim and indirect. Some might even have screen covers of different shades, or programes that help with visibility. Either way we know how to make in more comfortable. Secondly, again, we are always in pain and when our level of pain is not screaming acute we can function better than a normal person would at moderate pain. The computer is a great source of comunity, of disctraction, and connection to others. Why wouldn't we use it since a lot of us are hermits? With my writing it is more of focusing on something; rearching an article, writing an article, writing a story, editing a story... it requires thought and focus and it distracts me... expecially when I get into a flow.

People expect us to be laying around wallowing in pain all the time. If we did that we would be tormented by the pain. There are times when the pain is so severe we cannot get out of bed and that pain is made even worse by the very fact we cannot be distracted from it.
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Signs the pain is getting the best of you

100 Symptoms of Fibromyalgia

There was a site that had this and I had linked to it on Tumblr but it is gone. So I had to hunt down someone who found my post and posted the whole thing in a forum. Anyway it is around but I'm posting it here so I will not have to hunt it down to reference it. Now we all know the major symptoms are the wide-spread pain, but our pain isn't just muscle pain... it can be nerve types of pain as well, and the fatigue and the insomnia. And even among symptoms there are some far more frequent than others, but it should be said we have categories... like the cognitive dysfunction, which is a broad one that has more than one symptom and we often just say fibrofog. The insomnia... more than one sleeping disorder. So the list is interesting.




GENERAL
__ Fatigue, made worse by physical exertion or stress
__ Activity level decreased to less than 50% of pre-illness activity level
__ Recurrent flu-like illness
__ Sore throat
__ Hoarseness
__ Tender or swollen lymph nodes (glands), especiall…

When I say I am good

When people ask me how I am feeling 99% of the time I am lying. I often say 'not bad', because I feel it is slightly more honest than 'good' or 'fine'. Got sick of fine. Anyway, I lie for many reasons. 



I'm having a good pain day: They happen and I'll say that I'm good, fine, not bad. I even feel like I can accomplish great things... in moderation. In which case, relatively speaking, for Me I am not actually lying. This is a Good pain day, it is Not Bad for me and I am Fine with it. I just don't want to explain: I just don't want to explain how crappy I feel and in which way I mean. Because I am tired of it. I just want to deal with it, without having to discuss it, mention it or have any sympathy expressed about it. Because it can be complicated. It may be a migraine with specific symptoms. Maybe it is a FM flare though. Or both. And then I have to explain what it is because most people think my migraines are the main issue but I could be FM…