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Spining and spinning

I was reflecting today on my recent trip and all the visual wonkiness. The vertigo and the associated symptoms of migraine associated vertigo have been around for a long time but they have always been anomalies. Or they occured with migraines... generally morning migraines that were full blown acute and had that 'alice in wonderland syndrome' feel to them anyway. It was never anything I was concerned over. Just migraine wierdness. When I started getting episodes as I was falling asleep and in the morning it also didn't bother me because I have such insane sleep issues and when sleep deprived I get hypnotic jerks, of which that falling sensation or spinning is associated with. So it sucked because it is hard to sleep when it keeps happening but it is hard to sleep with hypnotic jerks as well. Then there are the incidents that were associated directly with motion... vertigo from airplanes, elevators, amusement park rides or when I stop my car at a light... ranging from mild to sever depending on the type of motion. Then came the incident of severe vertigo that lasted weeks and then has periodically persisted. All of which apparently is migraine associated vertigo... except it is becoming more severe and definately more frequent. What it seems like is that my brain has become insanely sensative to motion. As insanely sensative to motion as it is to light in fact. And my persistent visual phenomena is varied and pretty intense. My visual snow is more severe as well. And I wonder if the vertigo is linked to the visual phenomena. If they both are getting more severe. And if so, why the hell is that the case. But I can't make that direct link because the visual snow and visual auras have always been bad and never responded to treatments that have historically worked well in such cases. My eyes get strained from the vertigo because they can't track motion or focus properly and this in turn makes the visual snow very vivid. The real question I have is why the vertigo symptoms are occuring and why they are becoming so frequent. The reason it concerns me is because it severely affects my ability to function. The persistent migraine auras are a problem. On that my neuros have never really seems to take as seriously as I have because they can seriously distort my vision... which I believe makes it dangerous to drive. Certainly with visual snow we are talking very dangerous to drive at night, which I don't do but obviously being in Canada does happen in the winter time. I choose not to drive at any time except to work because work is not a choice. And doctors obviously never had a concern over my ability to drive or work even when I expressed both. Even when I describe in detail all the visual weirdness that occurs... which is a lot with persistent migraine auras. Visual snow is the big one, but there is a lot of wierdness there. Point being I just find ways to try and make it better. Avoid certain times of day. Wear sunglasses outside. Tinted ones inside of a rose color. Use indirect dim lighting. Avoid bright lights of all sorts, including sunlight. With MAV ""dizziness; motion intolerance with respect to head, eyes, and/or body; spontaneous vertigo attacks (often accompanied by nausea and vomiting); diminished eye focus with photosensitivity; sound sensitivity and tinnitus; balance loss and ataxia; cervicalgia (neck pain) with associated muscle spasms in the upper cervical spine musculature; confusion with altered cognition; spatial disorientation; and anxiety/panic." added to my persistent aura and I have something very, very perceptually disturbing triggered by a migraine, by motion, by hormones or by lack of sleep. Or a combination. So what happens is the event is triggered and I get some sort of vertigo (some sort of sensation of movement where there should be none; in objects, on the floor, falling sensation in my head, spinning in my head, lurching feeling due to feeling the floor fell away on one side, swaying motion by feeling I am falling forward or to the side) combined with extreme loss of balance, sometimes falling, obviously my usual photosensativity, usual ringing in the ears, neck pain may get worse it is always pretty bad, a growing sense of confusion with altered cognition (space out, hard to focus, things look weird, feel too fast) and spacial disorientation (things look really 3D or too close). It is very disorientating and the more movement you are experiencing the worse it gets and the longer the phenomena will last. AND you have to then consider while I am experiencing that I also see billions of sparkles in the sky (blue field phenomena), have visual snow where there is a cosntant feild of moving static overlaying everything which makes the sense of vertigo worse because everything looks like it is moving, warping fields in the sky, warping of objects, inability to focus well, jerking eye movements, lots of afterimages, trailers, floaters and so forth. And all these seem to combine because one aggravates the other which aggravates the other. It is insane. I feel very disorientated and not focused at all. Now knowing from this road trip it will just get worse the longer I am exposed to motion and the effects wil last longer is discouraging. It means it is around for the long haul. And that is a frightening thought. How can I function like that? In that state I can't do much. I sure the fucking hell should not be driving. On the road for a few minutes and I notice the motion, feel it, then notice how it looks wrong how the road is too fast and the trees too slow and my eyes start going weird, soon after that I can't track very well and can't read the road signs anymore. When I slow down to a city it is work from the change in speeds and then things are moving at should not be, everything seems wrong too close and I can't seem to consentrate properly or understand as I should. Unless they can properly treat the vertigo. And even then the persistent aura is still there and it is bad enough that it is dangerous. Frankly, all that aside, people should not drive with migraines... be sometimes we do if we get them all the time and we can't call in sick every day. I don't get why the MAV if thats what it is, is getting to be like this, but I sure wish I knew.
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