Skip to main content

In a good bad place

It has taken me till now since my short term leave to get my migraines 'settled' down. There is a certain point when I am working where my sleep is so disturbed and the pain is so acute that the pain is constantly aggravated. It is migraine after migraine. And between them is a constant headache from the neck pain... this pain in the neck that radiates up into the base of the scull. And the persistent migraine aura is intense and the vertiog messed up. I think it is too much over stimulation and sleep deprivation. I thought when I was on leave it would immediately improve but it didn't. So I had to get my sleep in line... get it for one and not over sleep for another. I had to ensure I exercised midly so I didn't aggravate the fibromyalgia by doing nothing but not too much to aggravate the migraines. Then add in every other trick from different balms and muscle creams on the head and neck, to ice, to yoga to meditation to different medications at different times to hydration and diet. Everything to get the neck pain under control mainly because it was seriously messing things up and once I got that under control it minimized that baseline tension headache so I had migraine free times of the day. And that is where I am now. And that is a sucess in my book. The best it can be at this point without an effective preventative. Yeah the migraines are still daily, but not always first thing in the morning and I don't wake up with a nasty headache that triggers a migraine quite early. Instead if I don't have a migraine in the morning then I get a migraine in the afternoon which is more normal (excluding hormonal migraines of course).

And I had a damn good routine going on too. Good sleep. Good exercise. Till that neuro effed it up. Now it is all buggered up again. But thankfully the neck pain isn't that bad yet... won't be either until after a long status migraine so if I can get the routine back before then I should be good. But he has made that difficult I can tell you that. I really can't sleep so well when I have a insanely painful migraine... I just stay awake until the wee hours of the morning. I can't just use my triptan it has too many side effects to abuse like that. Using nothing just prolongs the migraine and yes makes the neck hurt and the teeth and the skin. And I'm so tired I don't want to exercise... maybe because I end up oversleeping because I didn't fall asleep till seven am or maybe because of the med he is increasing is making me so groggy.

Then you add in the Bad place... my neuro took his time filling out the short term renewal forms. My insurance company called me twice. So I had to call his office. I still don't know if they have them yet. So I have to call them tommorow. So... I still don't know if it is approved. And that is insanely stressfull. I hate all that crap. And the waiting crap.
2 comments

Popular posts from this blog

Signs the pain is getting the best of you

100 Symptoms of Fibromyalgia

There was a site that had this and I had linked to it on Tumblr but it is gone. So I had to hunt down someone who found my post and posted the whole thing in a forum. Anyway it is around but I'm posting it here so I will not have to hunt it down to reference it. Now we all know the major symptoms are the wide-spread pain, but our pain isn't just muscle pain... it can be nerve types of pain as well, and the fatigue and the insomnia. And even among symptoms there are some far more frequent than others, but it should be said we have categories... like the cognitive dysfunction, which is a broad one that has more than one symptom and we often just say fibrofog. The insomnia... more than one sleeping disorder. So the list is interesting.




GENERAL
__ Fatigue, made worse by physical exertion or stress
__ Activity level decreased to less than 50% of pre-illness activity level
__ Recurrent flu-like illness
__ Sore throat
__ Hoarseness
__ Tender or swollen lymph nodes (glands), especiall…

When I say I am good

When people ask me how I am feeling 99% of the time I am lying. I often say 'not bad', because I feel it is slightly more honest than 'good' or 'fine'. Got sick of fine. Anyway, I lie for many reasons. 



I'm having a good pain day: They happen and I'll say that I'm good, fine, not bad. I even feel like I can accomplish great things... in moderation. In which case, relatively speaking, for Me I am not actually lying. This is a Good pain day, it is Not Bad for me and I am Fine with it. I just don't want to explain: I just don't want to explain how crappy I feel and in which way I mean. Because I am tired of it. I just want to deal with it, without having to discuss it, mention it or have any sympathy expressed about it. Because it can be complicated. It may be a migraine with specific symptoms. Maybe it is a FM flare though. Or both. And then I have to explain what it is because most people think my migraines are the main issue but I could be FM…