Finally after a little over a week my Status migraine, which was trigger from the hormonal migraine is finished. I should feel relieved and happy by the fact but today my mood seems to be rather down. I feel very melancholy really.
The pain was so acute and intense for that week long time. I only had my abortive and it did not work and so there was nothing left to do. I had to wait it out. It was horrific. I just wanted it to just End. I was useless all week. A wasted week. Time eaten by pain. Imagine my torment if I was working. I can lose a week to pain on a leave... it is horrific and sad, a waste, but if I were working I could not. It would be impossible. Usually I would touch out three days of a status migraine, then as I got sicker and weaker on the fourth day usually I would call in sick. But I could not again so I would have to go in for the next three... or more since work would likely make it worse and prolong the migraine itself. The torment of working like that? I remember that, but at least then I had some painkillers. Still not something I would wish on anyone.
My point being that long stretch of pain, unmanaged pain... was too much for anyone to have to endure. Way too intense and long. It makes you frantic and desperate for some relief but you get none. And you just have to wait and hope the next day will be better and it isn't. No one should have to endure that. But we do. Over and over. Losing days and weeks to this torment. Expected to. And then expected to function? To work? WTF. I had a hellish week. Just hellish.
Then today, finally, the status migraine ends and I go back to 'normal' with a migraine today at an 8. And I thought to myself this is my 'Better'. This is It. This is my normal migraine that should make me go Yay! An 8 is nothing to celebrate about either. It made me want to scream and rant and cry that this is my better. This is my freaking existence. Hell to hellish. And something maybe a crappy thrown in there. That status migraine was exhausting physically, mentally and emotionally. To endure that and afterwards to get This.... I just want a break for a moment. A rest. A gap in the pain. A vacation. Some down time. But there never is. And with just a few abortives a week... I guess I have to get used to just enduring the rest right? I think this mood is from the status migraine ending and the other one beginning... the flux of serotonin... but whatever. I'm moody. All day I've been in this funk.