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Man, I feel like a cripple


Might be the weather but I feel like a cripple. Sometimes fibromyalgia has a way of making you its bitch. I can tell you some times when it has been intensely painful to have this syndrome... when indeed I felt crippled by the pain alone. When walking became this very problematic struggle to consume inches. Not fun by any means but also not continuous. Also... not predictable. At times it just is. Other times it seems to be a flare up of specific muscle groups... like that year where the tendons in the bottom of my feet were extremely painful and I sort of shuffled everywhere I went. That was an unpleasant year. But it went away. Can't wear girly shoes or flat shoes though or that comes back very quickly... so sneakers it is, with insoles in them... but I like sneakers and I am not the sort of girl who collects shoes so not like I care. So there is all over pain, there is a specific intense flare up in specific muscles (both sides though) and there is 'you have clearly gone over your limits and need to be punished' pain.

Right this moment I have an overall flare up that is nasty. I speculate weather but it could be just that I have no been feeling well. A little too much stress. Lack of sleep due to other pain. That sort of thing. I think the chestwall pain is from this flare... certainly the leg pain is.

I have some nasty back pain that I have not decided whether it is a specific muscle flare up that I'm just going to have to endure until it goes away or whether it is a back problem or whether it is something else. My new doctor gave me something for it that does not work at all... but since I speculate the cream she gave me is an anti-inflammatory it would not do anything for FM. Still... just not sure. When I do nothing... it just hurts. When I sleep it hurts like a bitch which is causing problems with my crappy ass sleep. When I walk... it hurts exponentially. That is sort of like a FM thing... I mean when you go for a stroll and you have FM you will feel pain and then it will get worse and then worse and the sharp ache of it will increase rapidly until you can barely walk, but you know if you stop to rest while that will drop the pain down to a tolerable level as you stand up you will either collapse or the pain will just be screaming intense so you might as well just keep inching your way forward no matter how bad it gets until you get to where you are going. I get that sometimes very quickly... but since I have been on Lyrica not As quickly. And that is usually in my hips and knees and feet. But this increases very rapidly until I am hobbled by it. Very intense. Until I stop then it diminishes very quickly. So who the hell knows.

Then there are the migraines. Due to a policy change with my insurance company I cannot get my triptan until I get a form signed by my doctor who is out of town for a week. That unfortunately means untreated migraines. My new doctor, thankfully, permitted me some T3s but they cannot manage the pain or abort a migraine, nor can I use them for the whole time frame as they are a painkiller... best to use them only when the pain is severe and intolerable, to bring it down to within limits. Anyway, this is a problem... not a problem doctors generally care about mind you when it comes to chronic migraines, but a problem nonetheless. Hard to function and sleep when the migraines don't end. Also a problem when the FM is flaring so badly because the neck pain, which is constant from the migraines, has spread into my shoulder and down into my arm. Anyway the arm is just not functioning so well and this is the one that has the nerve issues.

It is a crapload of pain. And given my ability to function and my mobility seem to be rather compromised I am feeling rather crippled. I am amazed at how fast my back pain goes from 2 to 9 on the pain scale. I went out to finish Christmas shopping and it was no time at all before I could barely handle the pain... thankfully I was not out alone or driving or it would have been worse and this combined with the migraines is making me rather hesitant to do so these days.
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