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Regulating sleep

Sleep and fibromyalgia just do not get along. When I am working I'm constantly sleep deprived and that is with a sleeping pill. It makes it such that when I get a status migraine and the pain becomes really intense and just constantly mind blowing I don't sleep at all, which then makes it hell to work, which then makes the migraine last longer and makes me very emotionally strained and just drained. I try to play catch up on the weekends which never works. And I get these horrible episodes of sleep praralysis from the sleep deprivation which repeat over and over during the night, which in essence make it very hard to get any sleep, making the sleep deprivation worse. It is insanely hard to get any actually quality sleep. But I manage to get a little because of the sleeping pills, when the migraines are not completely acute when I go to bed anyway.

When I am off I get more sleep obviously because I can... but I get it because I get it when I actually am tired, which is not apparently when I would be forced to try and sleep during a normal day job. Because that is so not when I am tired. So. Not. I get tired around 4 am. So that is when I have been falling alseep. I have been trying and trying to regulate the time I go to sleep, but if I do... then I end up with the same problem, I don't fall alseep according to the proper time table. And if I try to regulate it for 8 hours like... go to bed at 12 get up at 8, then I will fall asleep at 4 and get around four hours of mediocre sleep. And definately not want to get up.

So when I got really sick from the medication change and my sleep cycle went to hell I just started going to bed at 4am and trying to get up at noon, just to get some solid sleep. But here is the thing... that sort of works in an ideal sleep cycle sort of way. But my brain does not work that way. I think my brain works in a old fashioned ten hour sleep cycle way. Maybe because of that theory that people with FM actually have an energy shortage or maybe just because we have such poor quality sleep such that eight hours isn't really eight hours. All I know is that ten hours feels pretty good. And consistent. My brain automatically wakes me up without an alarm at ten hours but I snooze the hell out of an alarm until ten hours comes up with it. Yet I feel guilty like I am wasting the day or something. And sleeping till 2pm just does not feel right. If only I could Get to sleep Earlier. But I have not figured out how yet. It is my aim in the months to come, hour by hour.

Another problem is consistency. So maybe ten hours is what I need. Maybe that feels good. I would prefer nine as a compramise but whatever. Unfortunately, I do not just sleep ten every day. No. Apparently my brain figures I have had enough and then just decides not to have any and then I can't sleep At All. And I will be awake at 8am and just give the hell up only to need a three hour nap at 2pm because I have a killer migraine from not freaking sleeping. Or sporadically I'll just get two hours or four hours like I would if I were working... just that I can't get comfortable, I'm in too much pain, or I just can't stay alsleep. Granted the ten hours of sleep is not exactly great sleep either, which is why it is likely ten hours... the first part is not restful at all, the middle I often wake up several times and the last two hours are mostly groggy wakefullness where I'm just not really ready to get up.

I have not figured out if I want to go to bed earlier or try to just force myself into an 8 hour sleep cycle. Not sure which would be better or more 'normal'. Or both.
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