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The Hermit left the cave

I have delayed some tasks... quite a bit because of a long enduring status migraine. So I went out and about today. Mostly because today I got very little sleep which meant I was very alert very early and since it is a status migraine... the pain was already there. A very constant persistent pain, but less than it was yesterday. So I figured got to get this crap done, might as well get it over with. Essentially I needed to get to my doctors office to get him to check a box on a form he neglected to check so i can get my triptan covered by my drug coverage, then go to the pharmacy to get some triptans which obviously is currently out of pocket but in serious need of them and then go to the bank to get them to re-submit a form the faxed wrong for divisibility coverage (the form had print on both sides of the page, they faxed one side... thus the company only got half). That is a lot of important crap, especially the forms... which granted should have been done right the first time but every insurance form I touch lately has been screwed up, some several times, none of which by me.

And I got that all done. I felt very productive before leaving the house due to being so awake so early and finally having the pain go down a bit. But leaving the house inevitably means that will not last. By the time I got to the bank which was my last stop, I was feeling the pain increase, some vertigo and some disturbing auras. Which meant I was having some troubles with focusing. A status migraine is acute pain, so it's not like I started off in a good place... but when you have things delayed for so long and things need to get done and you bloody well need a triptan to hopefully manage the situation, sort of taking advantage of a lull. But when the pain increased, it when from intense, sharp pain to very intense, sharp motion sensitive pain with more vertigo and aura crap going on than I had when i woke up. That's from sunlight and motion really. Long story short... I ran one stop sign, fortunately in a low traffic area which meant there were no other cars around, and I had some serious parking issues at the bank that once I got parked had me shaking and realizing I had best get home as soon as possible. Crowded parking lots... just not good, made my vision all claustrophobic- like everything was way to close and too big. There was only one spot and it was either take it or back out, and no way I could reverse out (I just knew I could not actually reverse straight out) so I had to take it, but it looked way too small, so I crept into it and it looked like I was too close on both sides so had to keep adjusting and adjusting. So I was shaky by the time I settled into the spot. When I got out to look though, I had the space. Just did not feel like it. Which made sense because as soon as I tried walking my balance was just not there and my vision kept doing that tilting thing. Thankfully I was in and out. And thankfully getting out of the parking spot was easier. But I'll tell you I drove extremely slow back home. And people wonder why I don't want to drive. On bad days obviously I know my vision is compromised or the pain is too intense. But I can never predict when the vertigo will be triggered by the motion of the vehicle or when the aura will get warpy-er or when the pain will get just too intense... when I am already out driving. I only know when it is already bad. And I know the triggers. And I know apparently my doctor does not think they are all that bothersome... which I found out as I stood in the back actually reading the disability form and the tasks he thought I could and could not do. Mood being the one thing he now thinks is an issue... but other things he simply does not acknowledge. I seriously want to give that guy some migraines with aura and vertigo for a month. Really, really do. Moot point since I am changing doctors but I seriously want to give that man a piece of my mind before I do.

Anyway, got home... migraine went nuts. Took my triptan. As you know, status migraine, already acute... did not do much, but did a little bit for a little while. Now it is crazy intense again. And the aura is crazy intense as well. For some reason the halo vision in my right eye is nuts. Which makes all light look crazy... but not the computer screen with the way I have that program on it that changes the light and the Irlens filter on top of that. Any other light in the house though... big shiny halo on it.
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The crowded me out of the brain. Making no room for anything else. Distraction was impossible. You feel almost frantic with the pain but must be still.

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