Painsomnia is kicking my ass


I have a deep personal knowledge about insomnia. Nothing says sleep dysfunction like fibromyalgia does. However, there is just the hard cutting edge to insomnia when you add in pain. Thus Painsomnia. Which is usually brought on by chronic migraines with me. You get caught in this rock and a hard place with chronic migraines because you cannot treat them. You can treat some of them and sometimes that is successful for part of the day and sometimes it is not. so it ends up being a lot of untreated migraine pain by the end of the night. That is what my sleeping pill is to help with unfortunately if the pain is acute it doesn't do a darn thing.

Painsomnia is this hash, brutal version of insomnia. A tormented version. Insomnia itself is maddening. Being sleep deprived all the time isn't a good thing. And seriously I've tried so many things to help with my sleep not worth listing them. And I will try many more. Pain though is different. If it cannot be treated it must be endured. If it must be endured which is the chronic pain lifestyle after all then I must simply try to fall asleep with it. Which apparently I simply do not do. I just lay there. For hours. I do what I usually do with insomnia and day dream about different things to amuse my mind and trick it into falling asleep... not dwelling on stressful things or obviously the pain. But apparently the pain is just to Present for my brain to relax enough to sleep. So it has been often well into the daylight hours. Often 8 or 9 in the morning that I am sort of getting some sleep. Or not. Sometimes none.

Weird thing about migraines and sleep deprivation. If you have visual snow... makes it much worse. If you have persistent migraine auras... makes them much worse. If you have vertigo... makes that much worse. So look forward to a very distorted warpy day. It has been day three of painsomnia for me and I had a fine tremble through my whole body. Felt entirely unstable. As my whole visual field felt unstable with its constant pulsations, the thick visual snow and that constant tilting sensation.

Another thing about migraines and sleep deprivation... makes the migraines cut like a knife. I woke up today... well not so much woke up, as my spouse trying to get me out of bed as I lay there still awake. I spent a few hours I am pretty sure in that not quite sleep stage 1 sleep. And the pain was slicing like a knife to the pulse of my heart. I didn't want to move. Or think. Or breath. Let alone get up. Yet I had to because it was my brother's birthday party. Maybe I would not have had the migraine been an 8 but it was a 7, just a very sharp 7. Just a very perceptually distorted, vertigo spinny, unbalanced and shaky 7.

Finally, when sleep deprived and you wake up with a migraine... get used to it... it isn't going anywhere.
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