Skip to main content

Migraine Awareness Month #19 Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery: Migraines & Mojo: How has living with Migraine/Headache Disorders affected your sex life?

What a topic choice! There are lots and lots of things I talk about but I generally don't bring my spouse's life that into it. So I feel a little uncomfortable talking about something that equally affects him, not the topic itself per sa but his privacy. So no kinky details folks. Sorry. lol.

I actually think migraines only have a moderate impact on our sex life. In general I don't use the 'sorry honey I have a headache' bit even when I have a migraine because I crave the intimacy and because, well, the act itself has a lot of endorphin fun going on there that makes me feel better, most of the time, or sleepier in the end, which is also good. Plus then I'd never get any action would I? It has to be one of those acute migraines where movement is an issue that I'll be like... yeah, not tonight. But ironically once I have taken my sleeping pill it has this affect on the hard edge of migraine pain, as long as the pain isn't in the high upper levels and then chances are I'm not sleeping anyway, but if it is in the 'normal range' it sort of dulls that motion sensitivity... my sleeping pill actually is a damn fine thing for how it affects pain in a weird way more more than how it affects sleep which for me is no grand slam I'll tell you that. So... I can get my groove on with a migraine frequently. And for painsomnia nights... I'm generally not sleeping am I? I generally end up getting up. So on that side of things I'm game for intimacy for intimacies sake and I don't want migraines to interfere with it. And I don't let them unless pain levels really make that an issue.

Occasionally when I don't have a migraine, like say I treated it earlier with a triptan and it didn't bounce back yet, and I get all up and close with my man, it has actually trigger a migraine. And that is rude man. How rude of a migraine to be triggered that way. I have never told my spouse that because, hey, everything triggers migraines and besides, really rare that happens. Usually it has the opposite effect and I would rather him think he is a migraine reliever than a migraine trigger!

Now the largest barrier is is actually insomnia and painsomnia. My spouse has the most perfect sleep cycle known. I do not. You can see how that normally speaking sort of might cause a problem. He goes to bed at 9 or 10 and the earliest I can conceive of going to bed even when I work is 12. On weekends I am far worse because I would go to bed when I Actually felt tired which is about 4am. And if you add in painsomnia there are times when sleep was impossible any time, whether I was in bed or not, and the pain was so high... well I was just hoping for sleep and nothing else. And... now that I am off work for a bit well there went trying to maintain that work sleep cycle that honestly sucked for me anyway and onto a sleep cycle that is completely contrary to my spouses... I often go to bed as he is getting up. I literally think the only reason I would want to adjust my sleep cycle is to become more in tune with his... because I really obviously get little sleep on a normal sleep cycle and painsomnia will be a problem either way. And so I'm going to attempt that. But we have always dealt with this issue because he is a morning person and I am a night person and we sort of figure that out. Chronic migraines just ensure I have an impossible time creating any sleep routine so adjusting my sleep cycle on my own or for work is twice as difficult as it was with my insomnia when painsomnia freaking throws that out the window. Now to really treat the sleeping problems would be to knock myself out with sleeping medications... and that doesn't improve intimacy does it? But I'd get to sleep earlier. 

Anyway would I like to improve this area of our relationship? Most definitely. Do I know how to do that? Not entirely to be honest.

June 2013, Migraine and Headache Awareness Month, is dedicated to Unmasking the Mystery of Chronic Headache Disorders. The 2013 Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge is a project of

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Signs the pain is getting the best of you

100 Symptoms of Fibromyalgia

There was a site that had this and I had linked to it on Tumblr but it is gone. So I had to hunt down someone who found my post and posted the whole thing in a forum. Anyway it is around but I'm posting it here so I will not have to hunt it down to reference it. Now we all know the major symptoms are the wide-spread pain, but our pain isn't just muscle pain... it can be nerve types of pain as well, and the fatigue and the insomnia. And even among symptoms there are some far more frequent than others, but it should be said we have categories... like the cognitive dysfunction, which is a broad one that has more than one symptom and we often just say fibrofog. The insomnia... more than one sleeping disorder. So the list is interesting.

__ Fatigue, made worse by physical exertion or stress
__ Activity level decreased to less than 50% of pre-illness activity level
__ Recurrent flu-like illness
__ Sore throat
__ Hoarseness
__ Tender or swollen lymph nodes (glands), especiall…

When I say I am good

When people ask me how I am feeling 99% of the time I am lying. I often say 'not bad', because I feel it is slightly more honest than 'good' or 'fine'. Got sick of fine. Anyway, I lie for many reasons. 

I'm having a good pain day: They happen and I'll say that I'm good, fine, not bad. I even feel like I can accomplish great things... in moderation. In which case, relatively speaking, for Me I am not actually lying. This is a Good pain day, it is Not Bad for me and I am Fine with it. I just don't want to explain: I just don't want to explain how crappy I feel and in which way I mean. Because I am tired of it. I just want to deal with it, without having to discuss it, mention it or have any sympathy expressed about it. Because it can be complicated. It may be a migraine with specific symptoms. Maybe it is a FM flare though. Or both. And then I have to explain what it is because most people think my migraines are the main issue but I could be FM…