Help me manage the pain and I will work on the suffering. That is what I would like. Is that so much to ask for?
There are times I wish I had an actual painkiller that worked. Like a real painkiller they give to people in pain. Like an opiate. Yeah, I said it. An opiate. I'm not talking morphine. I've never had actual morphine. I'm sure it is nice and all but I think it might be excessive in my case. But I am actually talking pain relief and management. Like tramadol which is often recommended for use with FM although I would not need it for FM. Perhaps it would help with exercise and that would be beneficial but I am thinking more along the lines of being able to function with chronic migraines, a rescue medication that helps and quality of life. That sort of thing.
If I could take my triptan every day, or twice a day, and if that did not cause a rebound headache or have horrible side effects or actually worked every times... then that might actually work for daily management of migraines in my case. But clearly that is not something I can do. I can only take them three times a day. And they do not abort every migraine even when I do take them on those days. And the side effects are not always great for me if I keep taking them and I am not talking rebound. So what about the other four times a week? Assuming we ignore the fact that I very well deal with migraines on those three days when the migraine comes Back after being treated and still deal with it anyway. But ignoring that... still four days with nothing. So not even 50%. Actually less than that by quite a bit. Not even 75% of migraines actually treated. That is a lot of pain. A lot of acute pain to be supposedly functioning through.
And so I take T3s. One a day three times a week. Do you have any idea how effective One T3 is on an acute migraine? Pretty damn ineffective. Better than a Tylenol. So that is something. Right? Better than is better than nothing, right? When you are in acute pain all day it is better than nothing? A teeny bit of dulling in the pain for a few hours is better than no dulling of the pain. Yeah. Awesome. I could take more though right? No... no... no. That would cause a rebound. That would be overusing them clearly. Bad idea that. And then I would get No T3s. But do I want to use more of them? Of course I bloody well do. As ineffective as they bloody well are... I cannot function with the level of pain I am in. I need to find a way to Function but I cannot think and I cannot even move at times and it gets worse and worse until I cannot Sleep. This is not a good thing by any means because then I have a migraine lasting days and the triptan will not work on Its day because the migraine is on day two or three by then and well beyond the point of a triptan working.
So yeah I would like an actually effective rescue medication to take that actually works.
And then I remember that neuros and doctors are asshats when it comes to opiates and I would have to deal with That. I would have some actual pain relief and it actually might help me manage the migraines better... but then I would get them start thinking idiotic stupid opiate thoughts like 'you are getting rebound headaches' and 'the opiates are making your migraines worse' because they would forget I had no quality of life Before they began treating me with them and they would just believe somehow that painkillers make things worse even though things were already as bad as they could get and I just needed some pain control to survive at this point of as bad as it could get... because the medications to prevent this were not preventing it... and somehow people need to function and exist with this pain. And I think somewhere along the line they forget this. They forget they have to manage the pain in order to figure out how to manage the pain. You can't just say 'figure out how to deal with the suffering' and never treat the pain. You have to do a little bit of both. Help me manage the pain and I will work on the suffering. That is what I would like. Is that so much to ask for?