I'm not a slob... I have an invisible illness article #invisbleillness

I'm not a slob... I have an invisible illness
I can relate to that... on a work level anyway.

For work I never did anything with my hair because for one thing that takes time which would take away from sleep. And for another putting your hair up requires things that put pressure on your head and with chronic migraines... no freaking way.

I wore very little make-up and none on some days. I felt at times this might make me look unprofessional or like maybe I wasn't trying as much as everyone else. But make-up irritates my skin, even the stuff that is not supposed to if I wear it often enough. And eye make-up? I rub my eyes so often that would just be redundant. You try staring at a computer screen with a migraine for eight hours... possibly with some wonky auras without touching your eyes... it won't happen.

I wore the same comfortable shoes every day that had insoles in them, even if they didn't match everything because without them the foot pain from the FM could really hobble me fast in work shoes... and sneakers, with insoles, that are much more comfortable seemed rather out of the question. So no fancy shoes for me. No loss there. I was never into them anyway. I have no balance and I always found them painful... not quite as painful as now, but still painful.

I had three sizes of work clothes in my closet at all times because medications would cause me to gain weight, then I'd lose some, then gain more, then lose some. And my clothes had to be comfortable and of a material that was not... itchy. Itchy for me is a huge issue. If it feels itchy I'll be tempted to scratch... and then massive eczema red dots, rash and bruises. So not tight. Not itchy. Also has to be layers because I have no temperature control... so really hot, then freezing... so often I'd wear a blazer of some sort over a blouse of some sort... or whatever. No dress socks because the material is wrong for some reason and my feet swell, so normal socks... no one really notices unless I accidentally wear navy with black because I can't tell the difference. Because of the weight fluctuations sometimes I felt like nothing ever fit right. And then I dropped a lot of weight and nothing did feel right. I'd never tuck shirts in either... even if it might look better. Because then it would bunch up too much at the waist, and make me feel more nauseous because of the pressure and also more itchy because of the material. And no skirts... skirts make you sit a certain way and restricting my body to having to sit a certain way for long periods of time is quite painful.

All my other clothes? Just t-shirts and jeans. Well jeans or other comfortable pants, like cargo pants of some sort with pockets all over the place. I don't have a sense of style to be honest but casual I can do. Work was always a problem where I always felt half put together all the time. But for just every day life I get that I am low maintenance and am fine with just a t-shirt and jeans with sneakers and no-make-up. I like the lack of buttons on t-shirts since my right hand has mobility issues and tiny buttons annoy the hell out of me.

I don't know though. When you feel tired all the time and in a great deal of pain... and have to get to work, I just wanted something to wear that was easy to pick out, comfortable, simple. And I really could not spend too much time mucking about with my appearance given I always slept to the last minute... and in fact usually picked my clothes the day before, so made it easier for myself. Anything to reduce my time in the morning when I was less aware was a bonus and I did it.

I didn't like that I felt sort of less professional but I did like that I felt comfortable. Because being comfortable when in pain and for fibromyalgia is an important factor. Something I have learned from things like going to weddings in uncomfortable clothes and shoes, having to sit a certain way, and having my hair all pinned up... and the Pain just intensifying in so many areas. So I do not underestimate comfort. I just had to find clothes that somehow were a style I liked, were comfortable and fit the criteria of the job. I did decently I figure. But I am not exactly great at fashion.

But I have never felt that these things make me less attractive... because these things have been a factor for me for a very long time. And... I also was a tom boy. Add those two things together and you get someone who really isn't comfortable all dressed up for Two reasons. Like not comfortable in my own skin then. So, yes, no fancy shoes for me... but I prefer sneakers. So, make-up really isn't a good idea most of the time, certainly not daily... but I don't like the feel of it on my face anyway, plus I bite my lips so lip stick would be eaten, and I don't think that is a good idea. Putting my hair up can be painful for sure, but I never really did learn to do much with my hair. And I think I look perfectly good in a nice t-shirt and jeans.
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