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Anticipating spring

As a kid I remember counting the space between the thunder and lightning to know how close a storm was. I remember those jokes 'You hear thunder... that is god bowling' or others. I use to lay there and ponder things like the expanse of the universe. If it began with a Bang, what was before? If it had an edge, what was beyond it? It should come to no surprise that I went on to study philosophy and loved metaphysics and cosmology. Still do. Those questions have more defined possibilities but no sure answers.

I do know that I have always been agnostic. That the mysteries of the universe have made me slightly agnostic even if my reasoning and humanity make me lean towards atheism quite a bit. You can love the majesty of it all without adding anything to your ontology.

Now when I look at a sky lit with all that lightning I think... that is what is inside my head right now. I think the crashing, cracking, rumble of thunder and the splitting of the sky with bolts of light... maybe one of the gods has a one hell of a migraine.

I have always been so impressed with storms. Love watching a good storm roll its way in. It is hard to enjoy it though when I feel it so keenly before it even hits. Those weather triggers are brutal, harsh and fast.

One storm triggers another.

I think of this as spring will be rolling in after a long harsh winter. A winter few of us have appreciated with its brutal temperatures, volatile temperatures and epic storms.  We want spring to come. For the snow to melt. Temperatures to rise. Green grass and flowers.

Spring used to be my favorite season (and not just because my birthday falls in there... maybe slightly because of that.) I loath winter so much that spring just boosted my spirits. I love the crispness to the air and how I can just see all that snow diminish as everything begins to flourish. But before the dry heat comes down and that can be too much for me to handle. It is no longer my favorite season. Those spring storms... while wonderful to watch are brutal on the brain. The temperature fluctuations are as well. It is just to unstable of a season to really enjoy with chronic migraines. Yet, behind Fall, with its nice even crisp temperatures and lovely colors it is still my second favorite season.

I still anticipate it every year with a strong yearning simply because I loath winter. I particularly loath this winter. I am so done with this winter.

But it is a little lighter each day. A little warmer. A spring is coming.
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