Skip to main content

You know you have Visual Snow when....

You wonder how clear is vision anyway?

I have had visual snow since I was a teenager. I remember when I began getting it. I could see this field of static against walls and in particular it would become more vivid at twilight and at night. Twilight would become this more surreal appearing time it seemed to me with this thicker static making the air seem pixelized. It wasn't my actual eyes as I had regular check ups there. So I assumed it was reality. Even though no one else perceived it. I had not experienced a migraine yet that I know of. I used to get wicked headaches but I do not know if they were migraines. I do know I experienced corona auras then, so I likely had silent migraines back then so that is likely the cause of the visual snow. And when I began getting migraines with aura, which were quite distinct in my early twenties the visual snow and other persistent migraine auras got more intense.

By the time the migraines became chronic the persistent migraine auras were by themselves pretty distorted and wonky. That makes reality pretty unpredictable in appearance for sure. Lines wobble and shake. Things can shimmer. Heat waves appear. Vortexes come and go. Blots and blobs of light appear and distort. Halos surround light sources.

But today I was downstairs having a smoke... as I am in the process of quitting, this making it harder to smoke so out of my comfort zone. Anyway, it is brighter down there and I was just looking at the blank white wall which quite makes the snow appear quite bright and vibrant in appearance. So there is this fluctuating, pulsing field of snow over the while wall. Dim lighting makes it thicker of course but a white wall... makes it quite clear.






And I had to wonder... what do other people see when they stare at a while wall? How clearly do they see that wall? Do they see the bumps and grooves of that wall? Surely not. I can't imagine clarity you see. I have no concept of it anymore. It has just been too long. I expect it is like if you gave glasses to someone who has been near-sighted all their life. Bam clarity. I am slightly near-sighted in one eye. It was never enough to need glasses for but if I hold one hand over my perfect eye I can see this slight difference in clarity. But I cannot imagine what it would look like beneath that field of static. That shimmer. I simply do not know how sharp and clear it would be.

I know it would not be Moving though. Because the difference between near-sighted and visual snow is that near-sighted is foggy and visual snow is moving and grainy. So it is grainy vision that is constantly moving. Particles constantly shifting over objects.

Vision though is a range. Some people have exceptional vision. Others not quite so exceptional but still do not need glasses. So clarity is a range. So when people look at a wall it may not be a shimmering, warping field of static... but the clarity of which they see the details of it must range. Anyway it is difficult to really focus on things through a field of shimmering static. You can look, but you cannot really stare or focus, you eyes cannot grab onto it for long with all that movement going on. Like if you try to look at the details within that first image there... tricky, isn't it?


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Signs the pain is getting the best of you

100 Symptoms of Fibromyalgia

There was a site that had this and I had linked to it on Tumblr but it is gone. So I had to hunt down someone who found my post and posted the whole thing in a forum. Anyway it is around but I'm posting it here so I will not have to hunt it down to reference it. Now we all know the major symptoms are the wide-spread pain, but our pain isn't just muscle pain... it can be nerve types of pain as well, and the fatigue and the insomnia. And even among symptoms there are some far more frequent than others, but it should be said we have categories... like the cognitive dysfunction, which is a broad one that has more than one symptom and we often just say fibrofog. The insomnia... more than one sleeping disorder. So the list is interesting.




GENERAL
__ Fatigue, made worse by physical exertion or stress
__ Activity level decreased to less than 50% of pre-illness activity level
__ Recurrent flu-like illness
__ Sore throat
__ Hoarseness
__ Tender or swollen lymph nodes (glands), especiall…

When I say I am good

When people ask me how I am feeling 99% of the time I am lying. I often say 'not bad', because I feel it is slightly more honest than 'good' or 'fine'. Got sick of fine. Anyway, I lie for many reasons. 



I'm having a good pain day: They happen and I'll say that I'm good, fine, not bad. I even feel like I can accomplish great things... in moderation. In which case, relatively speaking, for Me I am not actually lying. This is a Good pain day, it is Not Bad for me and I am Fine with it. I just don't want to explain: I just don't want to explain how crappy I feel and in which way I mean. Because I am tired of it. I just want to deal with it, without having to discuss it, mention it or have any sympathy expressed about it. Because it can be complicated. It may be a migraine with specific symptoms. Maybe it is a FM flare though. Or both. And then I have to explain what it is because most people think my migraines are the main issue but I could be FM…