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Discouraged by pain

I feel momentously discouraged by my chronic pain lately. It might be the amount of fatigue with the pain I feel. Or just the chronic migraines and how they affect my capacity to function and think. Either way I find myself rather discouraged.

I have been off work for more than a year and have made no forward progress. I keep thinking that I can perhaps come to some alternate solution. I even brainstorm some. However, what interferes with this is the momentous fatigue and brain fog and neurological symptoms and the pain. I just don't seem to have the capacity to plan or achieve anything that might even get me in the direction of finding some sort of alternative solution.

I know if the migraines were slightly less than they are it would be workable. But they are not. And have been daily for years.

How to continue like this though in this limbo? It worries me. It is difficult to live on the income provided by my long term leave. Barely workable. I have things I need to fix on the house. Things I need to fix on the car. Every extra expense an added stress because none of that fits in my extremely tight budget. My extremely tight budget is barely functioning as is. I feel pretty guilty about this because I am the cause of it. So i want to fix it. If I can find a way.

But finding a way seems to be rather difficult when I can't think straight and am so damn tired all the time. And the pain can just wipe me out for a day.

I feel like I should try. Just try. Maybe look at some free courses I can take online. See if I can do them. I need some sort of work at home deal. I really should try to aim to find one. It is the only way I can hope to make a decent income and function better than I would at a normal job.

But it is rather discouraging when we can so easy be laid right out from a migraine. Losing an entire day. When it just never ends. I just wish the migraines were slightly less frequent is all. And I wish some medication had helped with that. But that is not the case. I want to do something but my brain is just getting in my way. I will have to see if I can get around that somehow.
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