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Showing posts from October, 2014

#pain and #suffering in #images

These are some of my favorite images that resonate with me on the topic of pain and suffering. There are quite a few more but I limited it to these for the post. Artwork has a power to it that we can look into it and see our own suffering there. We can relate to the experience represented, even if it is not that one. It moves us in different ways.

#allodynia strikes again

Not a good pain day.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night with this pain from my ankle to my knee. Random pain. No idea what caused it but it lingered for a bit. Sometimes you just never know what the cause of these things are. Sleep position? Who knows right?

Well, I wake up and I had that pain I have been having in my ankles. That I expected. My leg hurt. I was not sure why. Thought maybe I had slept on it funny.

Then the pain Really starts. I get that horrible skin pain known as allodynia. Burning horrible skin pain that can strike anywhere. I have it on my scalp... makes washing your hair a real not pleasure. I have it on my lower back, right side. Same side my leg hurts so maybe that explains that. And I have it on the same side on my forearm.

Worst of all, I have it on the bottom of my feet. The Bottom of my Feet. I have been hobbling around since then because touching the ground is very, very painful. Not touching the ground is Also painful, just not As painful.

It …

Don't make me #Invisible

I made some images to support invisible disability awareness. Nearly 1 in 2 people have a chronic illness and of those 96% have an invisible illness. That is a lot of us.

I focus on pain a lot though. Chronic pain is a brutal invisible illness and disability. It is poorly treated. Doctors are poorly educated in it. It can be doubted because it cannot be seen. We do not show the typical pain behaviors that indicate someone is in pain. We do not cry, or scream, or limp or use a cane... or not all the time. Because our pain is All the time. Live day in and day out with pain and you adapt in ways at masking it. We Feel it, but we mask it.

It can make a person feel invisible or diminished to have our pain disregarded and not treated. We feel like no one understands our suffering. That we are expected to just suffer. That no medical professional cares about this fact. I also often felt in the work place my employer thought my pain was significantly less than it was. That I must have simply…

Wait... this is not the #lifestyle I ordered

Instead we get the Chronic Pain Lifestyle. That is a rough deal but it is the one we got. We can mourn the fact we didn't get the one we requested.This can be a difficult task really. We are constantly making adjustments for our health and it almost seems like our health is what is ruling our life choices. No one likes that feeling.

Fundamentally as a young person with chronic illness I had the feeling I could work around my illness. Or work with it I should say. I knew the limitations I had to live with but I thought I could achieve my goals anyway. One thing you just do not expect however is that your health will get worse and so that simply is not the case. You have to keep making further adjustments and compromises.

I simply do not like the fact that having the chronic illnesses I have compromises my financial stability now and in the future. I don't think I will ever come to terms with that. I always had the desire to have a certain comfort zone financially, which was no…

#Neck pain and #migraine

A 2010 study of 113 patients found that neck pain occurred with the migraine attacks more often than nausea, even though nausea is closely associated with migraines.
An informal survey of 144 people with migraines found that 75 percent said they had neck pain with their migraines, which is the same percentage that experienced sensitivity to light, sensitivity to sound and nausea. In this poll, neck pain was named three times as often as migraine aura and vomiting.
Type of neck pain in survey:
69% felt tightness17% experienced stiffness60% said the neck pain came first
Neck pain is a migraine symptom. Not something that is cause from muscle stiffness, which can also occur. Sort of a two for one deal there. I have been seeing someone for physio on my neck to help with the migraines and it is frustrating. At times I can do the exercises fine, but right before and during the migraine my neck hurts like hell and I cannot. So that is a good portion of the day my neck hurts lik…

The #fatigue machine

I know they say exercise will help with fatigue but I must say that does not seem to be working for me lately. Exercise has most definitely been increasing my migraine intensity so that likely is not helping.

You ever just get that insane fatigue that just seems to be compounding and compounding? Just getting nowhere... slowly.

Partly it is this insomnia and drowsiness combo. Can't sleep at night. Can't shake this drowsiness during the day.

Just have an insane time just getting up.

And I am dizzy. I have those black spots in my eyes and sparkles when I stand. I had thought the medication I was on had really helped with that, and it was, but lately just really dizzy. That is a component to this fatigue. You think am I tired? Hungry? Need water? Exercise? More sleep? What is it that will Help with this? You try everything to shake it and it is just there like a thick blanket.

Difficult to deal with all on its own because it is hard to get anything done when it gets bad. I have …

Fighting #Overthinking

Don't believe everything you think. Fact is it takes three positive thoughts to replace just One negative one. I think we dwell on those negative ones too. Spawn more of them. Get on that slippery slope of more and more of them.

I am very prone to this myself. It is the one reason I have started a Gratitude Journal to start writing down one thing a day I am grateful or thankful for... to focus on at least on positive thing. Helps get your mind thinking in the right direction and improves mood.
Poor Eeyore, always thinking the negative. I always did relate to him since I was such a cynic as a child. When I do get on that slippery slope of negative thoughts I usually utilize distraction as my tool of choice. Stop the thought process and turn it to something else that requires no thought or changes the thought direction entirely.

We are not always going to have happy thoughts or Be happy. That is a fact. But we can activity do things to manage those thoughts to help manage our mo…

Have a Thankful Day

It is Thanksgiving Day for us Canadians. The day when we ponder what we are thankful about and spend time with family. I didn't spend my thanksgiving with my mom this year because she was on a well deserved trip someplace warm. So my spouse cooked up a turkey dinner for the two of us and it was pretty damn good.

I am very thankful for a loving family. A mother like mine is pretty awesome. She always has my back and is there for me with any problem I have to solve or just to listen. She is a great support system to me.

I am thankful for my common law spouse who has stuck by my side for 17 years, in sickness and sickness. Who when we think about all the stress it causes for me not to be working would still prefer me Not to work due to the stress it would cause me to do so. A man that whips me up a turkey dinner and makes sure he buys a pumpkin pie because I was craving it.

I am thankful for friends that that I can socialize with a little and this makes me feel really good to get ou…

the value of your time

How succinct and true.

I know there is a price to be paid for everything I do. I have always thought about in terms of cost and benefit terms. There will be consequences but there will be benefits. There have been times were the cost was high but the benefit was worthwhile. And there are things we can do that have a low cost and a good benefit to our wellbeing.

But maybe we should think about it in terms of the life we exchange for it. What are we paying the price for that is making our life worthwhile and what are we paying the price for that is draining our life of vitality?

In other words what are we doing that is overextending our limits beyond our coping strategies such that we use the phrase 'I am not living I am existing?' And I know many of us do. I have. Too much life is given for what you with is worth the price.

But what are these things you think are worth the price? What are the things we may have cut out of our lives because of the pain and illness, due to neces…

It's just your fibro

Man, this guy is totally right about this one. I heard this one all the time. It is just your fibro.

 But... you get the occasional right doctor who listens once in a while who say diagnosed me with hypothyroidism. Not to mention wicked headaches that turned out to be migraines.