Skip to main content

#Friendship and #ChronicIllness

Friendship with chronic illness in my past has always been something I have struggled to maintain. You see I am an introvert and for me friendship has always been something I have had difficulty in the long term. I value my alone time and so I have to balance that with social time with friends. Add in chronic illness and pain, well, that cuts into social time. You need to conserve your energy for important things like school or work. So you limit your social time. I admit only a few friends in my life have grasped how difficult it is for me to balance my obligations and my chronic illness, let alone anything else in there. So friends drifted away. Something I have always regretted but it was just the way it was. Sometimes it was simply distance. If they moved to far away I could not drive to meet them all the time, as that is something that uses that reserve of energy so those relationships inevitably drifted apart. Others it was simply that they get tired of the fact I say no more than yes.

Recently I have been hanging out with a select group of friends we play cards with. All of which work with my spouse. All great people. All of them seem to get when i cannot go out at all, which has happened on severe migraine days. Or when I have to cut an evening short for those days when a migraine just gets worse and worse to that intolerable point while there. Perhaps these people are just more mature. Or more empathetic. Or just good people.

I can say I really appreciate this attitude towards my chronic pain. That they do not mind at all. That they completely understand. That I need to take care of myself. It eliminates that feeling of guilt I would normally have. And that feeling of embarrassment for being That person who is 'ill all the time'.

I appreciate it also because it is important to me to get out of the house every once in a while. I can't do much. Can't do a lot. But to get out of the house once every couple of weeks to play cards? It is nice. Sometimes that is the Only time I have left the house. Unless I needed to go to the pharmacy. So that social interaction is important to me. Outside of my online friends, that is all I get.

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Signs the pain is getting the best of you

100 Symptoms of Fibromyalgia

There was a site that had this and I had linked to it on Tumblr but it is gone. So I had to hunt down someone who found my post and posted the whole thing in a forum. Anyway it is around but I'm posting it here so I will not have to hunt it down to reference it. Now we all know the major symptoms are the wide-spread pain, but our pain isn't just muscle pain... it can be nerve types of pain as well, and the fatigue and the insomnia. And even among symptoms there are some far more frequent than others, but it should be said we have categories... like the cognitive dysfunction, which is a broad one that has more than one symptom and we often just say fibrofog. The insomnia... more than one sleeping disorder. So the list is interesting.

__ Fatigue, made worse by physical exertion or stress
__ Activity level decreased to less than 50% of pre-illness activity level
__ Recurrent flu-like illness
__ Sore throat
__ Hoarseness
__ Tender or swollen lymph nodes (glands), especiall…

When I say I am good

When people ask me how I am feeling 99% of the time I am lying. I often say 'not bad', because I feel it is slightly more honest than 'good' or 'fine'. Got sick of fine. Anyway, I lie for many reasons. 

I'm having a good pain day: They happen and I'll say that I'm good, fine, not bad. I even feel like I can accomplish great things... in moderation. In which case, relatively speaking, for Me I am not actually lying. This is a Good pain day, it is Not Bad for me and I am Fine with it. I just don't want to explain: I just don't want to explain how crappy I feel and in which way I mean. Because I am tired of it. I just want to deal with it, without having to discuss it, mention it or have any sympathy expressed about it. Because it can be complicated. It may be a migraine with specific symptoms. Maybe it is a FM flare though. Or both. And then I have to explain what it is because most people think my migraines are the main issue but I could be FM…