Skip to main content

The #pain doesn't go away. You just make room for it

I think something I have come to terms with when it comes to chronic pain is this realization that the pain will not go away. That is this actual physical sensation of pain will not go away. It can be lessened to some extent with various different medications. It can be managed with various different methods. But it will be there.

I always knew this but there was a time a long time ago when I had believed the migraines at least would go back to this low monthly, quite manageable level. And that would have been quite nice. I don't believe that any more simply because even with the best most effective preventative medication and the most effective response rate I would still be chronic... but quite a bit Less chronic than I am now. So there would still be quite a lot of migraine days. Not counting the fact the fibromyalgia is a never-ending story of its own.

So there will be pain.

But you make room for it. Because you must. And we all know this because we all know that we develop a certain baseline tolerance to pain. Like we say 'this is my every day baseline pain' and this is my 'not functioning pain' and this is my 'tolerable pain'. We have this level of pain that becomes acceptable to us because we can manage it. We do manage it. We can and do have a life with it. And we have pain that we cannot manage and it interferes with our capacity to function in every day life. Our main goal in pain management is to reduce suffering so that we have more manageable days and less unmanageable days, and less overall suffering. Even though we cannot eliminate the pain altogether. We can, hopefully, make room for other parts of life... and that is the Most important thing of all. Quality of life. When that suffers, well, we are suffering well beyond our capacity to cope. When we we are coping then we have a better quality of life. As in we have a life in there.

It is by no means an easy feat. Especially when medication alone is rarely sufficient to manage pain. Understanding what more we need to accomplish is not always an easy road to travel when our doctors have little or no understanding of how to help us. It can sometimes take decades for us to even find any resources to get us on the road to pain management.

I have also discovered in my days of pain that there are times when I am coping very well and times when I am coping very poorly. For example, there was a time when all I had to battle was fibromyalgia and while it was a struggle initially I developed some strong coping methods along the way. For a bit there that was awesome. Then along came those pesky migraines and still I managed... until they became chronic... then I just pretended to manage because there was nothing else I could do at the time. Then I could not pretend. So now it is a struggle to find new methods to cope with new levels of pain and different types of pain. Accepting the fact that the pain exceeding my coping strategies and that I could not function at work like that was quite the blow to me to be honest. Even if it was blatantly obvious. Not working and reducing the level of stress in the day has increased my ability to cope with the level of pain.

In the end you just have to accept the pains existence in your life. You do not have accept suffering though. I firmly believe we have the capacity to reduce that in many ways, although pain directly leads to it and managing suffering is a constant task of ours. We also have to make an effort to make room for other things in our life because it is the other things that compensate for the pain. Although it can be difficult to manage much, a little goes a long way in improving our moods.
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Signs the pain is getting the best of you

100 Symptoms of Fibromyalgia

There was a site that had this and I had linked to it on Tumblr but it is gone. So I had to hunt down someone who found my post and posted the whole thing in a forum. Anyway it is around but I'm posting it here so I will not have to hunt it down to reference it. Now we all know the major symptoms are the wide-spread pain, but our pain isn't just muscle pain... it can be nerve types of pain as well, and the fatigue and the insomnia. And even among symptoms there are some far more frequent than others, but it should be said we have categories... like the cognitive dysfunction, which is a broad one that has more than one symptom and we often just say fibrofog. The insomnia... more than one sleeping disorder. So the list is interesting.

__ Fatigue, made worse by physical exertion or stress
__ Activity level decreased to less than 50% of pre-illness activity level
__ Recurrent flu-like illness
__ Sore throat
__ Hoarseness
__ Tender or swollen lymph nodes (glands), especiall…

When I say I am good

When people ask me how I am feeling 99% of the time I am lying. I often say 'not bad', because I feel it is slightly more honest than 'good' or 'fine'. Got sick of fine. Anyway, I lie for many reasons. 

I'm having a good pain day: They happen and I'll say that I'm good, fine, not bad. I even feel like I can accomplish great things... in moderation. In which case, relatively speaking, for Me I am not actually lying. This is a Good pain day, it is Not Bad for me and I am Fine with it. I just don't want to explain: I just don't want to explain how crappy I feel and in which way I mean. Because I am tired of it. I just want to deal with it, without having to discuss it, mention it or have any sympathy expressed about it. Because it can be complicated. It may be a migraine with specific symptoms. Maybe it is a FM flare though. Or both. And then I have to explain what it is because most people think my migraines are the main issue but I could be FM…