Skip to main content

The world #breaks everyone, and afterwards, some are #strong at the broken places

 I chose two pictures I created for my reflective blog post today. The first clearly expresses we can have wounds that are never seen. We can have invisible disabilities that do not show. They can cause a lot of isolation and suffering. Coping can be a constant struggle. A lot of wounds that never bleed.


"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places." This quote is a favorite of mine. You see chronic pain, chronic illness, have broken me. I was suicidal. I tried to kill myself. And I don't even just mean this extreme. Chronic illness and pain erode us. It is isolating. It is draining. It is a constant battle. There is no break. No victory. There are times when we cope very poorly. It is a constant struggle. At times it feels like it breaks us down pretty good.

I like to think I am stronger in my broken places. That when I get back up, dust myself off, try again that I learned a little about myself and my capacity to cope from the experience. That I can cope better because of the experience. Or at the very least learned I need to know more about how to cope to deal with the pain.

In some respects this is just a belief I want to have. It is comforting to believe that I am stronger for all the struggles I have gone through. That somehow I have learned something through the difficulty. I truly want to believe this.

In some respects it is a fact. When I was younger I knew nothing about how to cope with my initial diagnosis and it took a lot of difficulty and struggle to figure it out, but figure it out I did. And then did the same with diagnosis after that. That person I was is not the same person I am now. I can cope a lot better than I could back then. We never give ourselves enough credit for the skills and methods we have learned along the way and which work to help us cope every single day. Not to say we might even improve on them, but the fact is, they are vastly improved on what we began with.

In fact, we are stronger in our broken places. But we have broken places. And we have more than most people do. And they are all wounds that cannot be seen and do not bleed.

Another fact, we are at more risk than others of breaking. We have a lot working against us. More likely to have suicidal thoughts. More likely to commit suicide. More likely to have comorbid depression or other mental illnesses, if those are not our primary invisible disability to begin with.

We fall. We get up. We cope poorly. We cope well. It is a process we go through continuously and we must always be aware of the dangers that can occur along the road. Like when our pain exceeds our capacity to cope.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Signs the pain is getting the best of you

100 Symptoms of Fibromyalgia

There was a site that had this and I had linked to it on Tumblr but it is gone. So I had to hunt down someone who found my post and posted the whole thing in a forum. Anyway it is around but I'm posting it here so I will not have to hunt it down to reference it. Now we all know the major symptoms are the wide-spread pain, but our pain isn't just muscle pain... it can be nerve types of pain as well, and the fatigue and the insomnia. And even among symptoms there are some far more frequent than others, but it should be said we have categories... like the cognitive dysfunction, which is a broad one that has more than one symptom and we often just say fibrofog. The insomnia... more than one sleeping disorder. So the list is interesting.




GENERAL
__ Fatigue, made worse by physical exertion or stress
__ Activity level decreased to less than 50% of pre-illness activity level
__ Recurrent flu-like illness
__ Sore throat
__ Hoarseness
__ Tender or swollen lymph nodes (glands), especiall…

When I say I am good

When people ask me how I am feeling 99% of the time I am lying. I often say 'not bad', because I feel it is slightly more honest than 'good' or 'fine'. Got sick of fine. Anyway, I lie for many reasons. 



I'm having a good pain day: They happen and I'll say that I'm good, fine, not bad. I even feel like I can accomplish great things... in moderation. In which case, relatively speaking, for Me I am not actually lying. This is a Good pain day, it is Not Bad for me and I am Fine with it. I just don't want to explain: I just don't want to explain how crappy I feel and in which way I mean. Because I am tired of it. I just want to deal with it, without having to discuss it, mention it or have any sympathy expressed about it. Because it can be complicated. It may be a migraine with specific symptoms. Maybe it is a FM flare though. Or both. And then I have to explain what it is because most people think my migraines are the main issue but I could be FM…