I had a very frustrating conversation with my insurance company this morning. First, I should point out I had nill sleep the night before. Literally no sleep which enabled me to be awake early enough to get a hold of the chick with the time difference. Even so it took a bit. Nevertheless I was alert, if in pain. And angry and frustrated, rather than befuddled by the migraine and saddened by the situation. So that did help get my thoughts out. My very annoyed thoughts.
Second, I should also point out I really have a low opinion of her intelligence at this point in the game. I said how do you expect me to get a job with my previous employer when I Have Not Improved At All? Am I supposed to lie? She said no, that would not be good. But she thought I was doing 'better' and if by 'significantly better' she means going from Daily Migraines to Daily Migraines then I totally see her point. And thus, why I think she lacks intelligence at this point. As she seems to fail to grasp the definition of 'improvement'. She also said it was not their problem I had vertigo and could not drive any real distance. So I guess it is society's problem when I crash on the highway killing a few dozen people.... but no her problem. Unfortunately I don't want to risk my life, or other peoples, so commuting any real distance is out of the question.
I called, out of curiosity, to see how they were going to 'help' me gain gainful employment given the lack of actual improvement, the vertigo and the fact that I am not exactly employable. Turns out they have a lame plan to do very little. I think I have established That is something they do well. First, they will not get me a job back with my previous employer, except part time since that is all I can work now... because they have closed the file (apparently not for a few months, but apparently closed enough) such that it is no longer in their hands. So much for that lie they told me that I could get my job back with my employer. Thanks for that. So I would have to go to my previous employer and Apply for a job Knowing they would ask if I had Improved and I have Not. Assuming they had an opening, which they do not. I asked if this made any logical sense, unless of course I lied. In what world would those people give me a job when they were trying to get rid of me in the first place? I would have to be one hell of a liar. Almost as good as the insurance company. Hell, maybe I could give them the letter showing that I have 'significantly improved' and not say anything. If they believe that bullshit I'd be set, but I image that have more intelligence than that.
Then I said, well, then, what are you willing to do to help me with my other non-existent job prospects since I am non-competative in the workforce? Well, she says, we can help you with a resume. Really? I have been writing resumes since I was 12. I think I have it down. Well, we can help you with a job search. Well, I replied, I cannot drive and live in a small city... even I can look in the tiny local paper for jobs. Think I can handle the page of jobs I am no longer fit to do or have no skill for and am also not fit to do. But thanks. I appreciate that vast amount of assistance. I think I can handle looking at job boards online as well. What are they going to do? Give me a list of links to job boards and Viola? Utterly and profoundly useless. I had to phone though because I wanted to see what this offer entailed, but if it really isn't an offer but just a brush off there is no point.
So I was angry but that is better than depressed. I have a right to be angry. These insurance companies can apparently just make up reasons to get you off their books. But us? We have to scramble to do a complex appeal that might be denied for any little reason.
Nevertheless, I am considering my options. Because I must to survive. And survival is what it is all about despite the morons that make our lives more of an obstacle to our treatment than they already were in so many ways, gotta just want to bitch slap those sorts whenever you encounter them... we are the ones that have to find a way around these obstacles. Our illness itself is a constant obstacle that we deal with on a constant basis and we get pretty damn good at that.
Sorry to have a rant session on you guys but I was pretty livid. I mean if I had improved and had progress and was making my way to that point it wouldn't be any issue. Like everyone I have goals to achieve. But for these ludicrous made up reasons it is frankly just damn insulting to every person I can think of that is disabled and fighting to manage their condition. That they can do that and think they can get away with it makes me furious. However, I suspect they really, really do or why would they pull it?