"This is a soul under perpetual migraine attack."
This soul right here.
I doubt very much people understand what that really means. I think they focus a lot on the pain. The pain is a tremendous factor in this equation, don't get me wrong, but it is one part of the massive puzzle that is a migraine.
To experience a migraine all the time means you experience all the other symptoms all the time as well. You get aura symptoms of visual effects or tingling skin and more. You might get constant tinnitus like me that gets worse with the migraine. You might even have persistent migraine auras, so that means the auras vary and are in play migraine or not and of long durations. You might get migraine associated vertigo and get vertigo to some degree all the time and bouts that last for various durations. You may get afflicted with aphasia as an aura symptom.
And during the prodrome and postrome you may have mood changes, fatigue and brain fog. In fact confusion can come at any point in the game. Thinking through pain and the confusion is a difficult task.
Every migraine is different and comes with its own symptoms. You may have a burning skin pain in your scalp, tingling in your face, nausea and vertigo one day and the next have a visual aura, burning down your face, aphasia and severe fatigue.
Every day the same thing. Every day you try to think through this. Do things through this. To whatever degree is humanly possible. Sometimes it isn't. No break in there. No clarity to thinking. No clarity to memory or perception of reality or to your life. It is a constant haze of pain.
I wonder at times how I remember anything. And to tell you the truth I remember facts decently but not events very well or faces. Nothing that was going On while I was in pain. Too much focus was on the pain for the memory to be encoded properly.
Yes, this is a souls under perpetual migraine attack and it is a soul that is living a reality that is different indeed. Chronic pain just one factor that makes this reality different. Difficult.
I write this because I have had an acute migraine since I have woken up and have not been able to function at all. Have taken a number of pain killers to just be typing this. I have had vertigo that is messing with my balance. Phantom smells that are horrible and I keep trying to find where they are, but I know they don't exist... nothing could smell like that. I took a triptan but it did not work and so there is little more to do but suffer with it. The side of my face burns; an aura I get sometimes instead of tingles and I hate it. My neck hurts like a bitch and there is nothing to do about that either, except the exercises I have.
And I know... it will be this tomorrow as well. Just a new migraine. With different symptoms.