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Will be working soon...

It looks like I have a return date of April 1st from my employer. They have been contacted by my insurance company with my status. However, finding a place for me will be tricky given the economy as it is. Not many positions open. Not many people even moving around. So they will keep me updated on where I will end up.

Nevertheless, it was good new to hear from them. I realize with a chronic illness there is only so much improvement I can actually expect. But I have gone in the right direction. The rest is sort of those coping skills I have learned along the way of dealing with the pain that is inevitable from there. That is not to say that I will not continue my progress with the pain clinic however, as that is vital. I am thinking of asking them to go through another round of BOTOX as my first trial of it was not the recommended shots and was a long time ago. Worth giving another go, while I am doing my exercise regiment.

The point is there is a lot of value to working that I miss in my life. That void is hard to fill. In some ways I can, but in others I cannot. One thing I value is being engaged in the world. As a hermit I tend to be reclusive and this benefits me little. Working enables you to connect with people on a daily basis. This is a good thing. I enjoyed that. I missed it when it was gone. I did what my psychologist recommended by going out and socializing... a tad, but being engaged daily with people is really feeling that connection to the world. So there is that. Secondly, financial stability. That is something I find the lack of is very stressful to me. I am the sort that does not like debt and likes to save. But I cannot save if I must adhere to a very firm extremely tight budget. Third, is being intellectually engaged. This I can do to some extent on my own. But the more the better in this regard. Sometimes I feel like my brain is going to mush. And I feel like the lack of routine does not help with this. You just sort of stagnate.

I feel like it is a good thing that I am up for the challenge. I wonder if I should feel that way. I am a little more wary than I used to be. Several times burned by my brain in regards to work. Yet, I comprehend my options. I have a practical view of the situation and this seems to be the best scenario I can think of. To be honest I like the idea of it. There are so many aspects of working you miss when you are not. I understand the aspect I do not miss is the pain, but then the pain, that, is there anyway. 


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