#‎May12BlogBomb #Fibromyalgia Awareness Day post

I have had Fibromyalgia, officially, since I was in my early 20's and I just turned 38.

Our Theme for the BlogBomb this year is: "A Vision for the Future!" Perhaps the angle of how your future would look if you were free of illness from tomorrow 

If I were free from illness tomorrow: I would continue to work, but I would work pain free without the additional concentration problems. I would then begin to let my ambitions have a role in my life again. I would plot where I wanted to be in five years. Where my career could take me. I even know what that goal would be. Then I would begin to take classes I know would help me achieve this goal in five years, or less. I would also begin to save money for a awesome vacation. One I could never do before. With a lot of sunlight. Lots of activity. Maybe going to Mexico to look at the Mayan temples. On my days off from work I would make time to socialize with friends, go out and do things and Still get my housekeeping done.

A vision of the future as is: my vision of the future as is is a little different. I want to try and maintain at work and I hope that I can. I strive to do so. That is my only ambition to maintain at my job. Get to work, do my job, get home and relax. Just that. I foresee being able to do this a year before it becomes problematic due to a medication wearing off or the pain getting out of control or the vertigo going nuts again. Then I will struggle. From there it is hard to predict what will happen but maybe another leave of absence, of which I have had many and just came back from a long term leave. Maybe it will lead to another demotion and then wait for a bit until a promotion... I did this whole demotion after a leave and then promotion after a certain term game a couple of time. With a chronic illness it is not uncommon for us to not make as much due to leaves, lack of raises and promotions. And I will struggle like this until retirement or until I succeed in getting permanent disability. I do take small short vacations to places close by where I can relax, like into the mountains. We stay in a cabin because I cannot handle tenting as it is too painful to sleep in one. Or to my uncles cabin. I socialize occasionally with a close group of friends who understand my limitations and we play cards, something that is in my capacity to handle. Other than that I am a hermit.

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