Skip to main content

the aura show


The one thing about persistent migraine auras is that they are there migraine or not. It used to be they were this awesome warning system of Impending Doom. As in I would get this atypical migraine aura pretty much an hour before the actual horrific headache portion of the show began. It was perfect for taking my migraine abortive. Talk about knowing exactly when to take your medication when you start going sparkly blind in one eye.

Not so much any more. I have much more diversity now as well. So much more visual auras to go around. And very few of them warn me of Impending Doom. Well, not visual ones anyway. Tingling in the hands or face is pretty much a dead give away though.

But it does vary. There is the halos around light. Where the lighter it is the harder it is to see, because there is fuzzy halo around all light sources. So if someone is standing beside a window... can't bloody well see them. Starbursts often come with halo days... they are when you see something like headlights but the light expands outward like a star. A common aura of mine I get very frequently replaced my regular aura, but is a persistent migraine aura now, it is this broad arch of multi-colored pixels of light in both eyes over about half my vision... fluctuating and pulsing for a good five to eight hours. It expands from a small portion of my vision to a larger portion... sometimes a significant portion. Other times there are dark spots, blind spots, blotches of white, raindrops of color. Another common one that comes on in bright light exposure is a vibrant vortex of light with a blind spot in the center. It reminds me of a flower, with pedals of black, iridescent blue and pink expanding open and closed. It tends to get larger as time passes and is always in the core of my vision.

It would be like if people could see a rainbow... the colors are similarly vibrant and translucent... but fluctuating and pulsing. Overlapping reality. Distorting reality. Another aura I can get is where lines, like corners, patterns, lines all warp and contort... so that makes it difficult to look at things. But you can see how many of these things are difficult to describe. I can say sort of like some fireworks. Sort of like a twisted rainbow. I often wish I could take a picture or video of them just to share the experience. Often wish I could show them to my neurologist as well so they could understand how disruptive and distorting persistent migraine auras actually are... given they light show does not shut down, just changes from day to day.

It is sort of problematic and enchanting. In some sense I am entranced by this light show. In a way it is often Too distracting. It takes away from reality in ways you really don't want it to at times when you need your attention. But sometimes I will just watch the light show because it is that fascinating what my brain is producing... this illusion. Very problematic when you need to see fine detail. Drive. Pay attention. Want to see. Things of that nature. And also very unpredictable with persistent migraine auras... you really have no clue if the phenomena will last all day or a few hours. My vision, in some fashion, is compromised in some way every day at some time.... just depends on Degree.
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Signs the pain is getting the best of you

100 Symptoms of Fibromyalgia

There was a site that had this and I had linked to it on Tumblr but it is gone. So I had to hunt down someone who found my post and posted the whole thing in a forum. Anyway it is around but I'm posting it here so I will not have to hunt it down to reference it. Now we all know the major symptoms are the wide-spread pain, but our pain isn't just muscle pain... it can be nerve types of pain as well, and the fatigue and the insomnia. And even among symptoms there are some far more frequent than others, but it should be said we have categories... like the cognitive dysfunction, which is a broad one that has more than one symptom and we often just say fibrofog. The insomnia... more than one sleeping disorder. So the list is interesting.




GENERAL
__ Fatigue, made worse by physical exertion or stress
__ Activity level decreased to less than 50% of pre-illness activity level
__ Recurrent flu-like illness
__ Sore throat
__ Hoarseness
__ Tender or swollen lymph nodes (glands), especiall…

When I say I am good

When people ask me how I am feeling 99% of the time I am lying. I often say 'not bad', because I feel it is slightly more honest than 'good' or 'fine'. Got sick of fine. Anyway, I lie for many reasons. 



I'm having a good pain day: They happen and I'll say that I'm good, fine, not bad. I even feel like I can accomplish great things... in moderation. In which case, relatively speaking, for Me I am not actually lying. This is a Good pain day, it is Not Bad for me and I am Fine with it. I just don't want to explain: I just don't want to explain how crappy I feel and in which way I mean. Because I am tired of it. I just want to deal with it, without having to discuss it, mention it or have any sympathy expressed about it. Because it can be complicated. It may be a migraine with specific symptoms. Maybe it is a FM flare though. Or both. And then I have to explain what it is because most people think my migraines are the main issue but I could be FM…