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The victory

Sometimes we crave the victory. We talk about how it would be easier if we had a curable disease, even if it were horrific... because there is this foreseeable end date to the battle. We could conquer and move on.

Instead we just have the battle. We have good days. We have bad days. We cope well. We cope poorly. And it never ends. That can be a realization in-itself is hard to handle. However, eventually we come to terms with this. In some sense everyone has battles to fight. Life is struggle in some way or another. If it were not this, it would be something would it not?

Does it mean the battle has to define us? Not particularly but it does shape us in many ways. And although there is no 'Victory' with a capital V there is small successes. There are small accomplishments and victories that get us through things. I think it is important to focus on each and every small accomplishment like it is a damned big deal because in the end they are a big deal. We need to focus on what gets us through the day, the week and the year.

We know intrinsically what helps us win our battle. We are battle scarred warriors. We have learned from experience. Learning to cope is something we all have to adapt to. Personally I learned the hard way. What Not to do. And then do it again just to make sure (Yep Not That).

Our story will never be like a novel with a beginning, middle and end. We will never have the satisfaction of beating this beast of a disease (whichever disease it is you happen to be battling). We have to be content with a story that celebrates our small victories and achieving our small goals and when we cope very well. The low pain days. The days we accomplish more than usual. Or when we successfully get through the swell of that storm successfully. Fight that battle as best we could and got through the other side.

Not a fairytale story. Not an epic story. But it is one we share with so many other people. We are not alone in this battle.
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