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Some things cannot be fixed


We want to fix things. Like they are these little complex puzzles that if we only find the key we can resolve it. Done. But life is not like that. Some things cannot be fixed, which we learn with chronic illness and chronic pain. They can only be carried. We have to cope and deal with the symptoms we have.

There is treatment but there is only so much treatment can do. When we first get diagnosed often we expect great things from medications and treatment. That it will do the fixing. That it may not cure, but it will make us feel significantly better. Like I have had happen with asthma medication and hypothyroid medication.

Then we learn things like chronic pain have complicated treatment for a very complicated problem. One that is not even truly understood by science yet, so the treatment is pretty lacking. So in that respect we will feel pain and suffering even with treatment.

We have to learn how to live with it. To carry it and live with it. To live as well as we can with it. Which takes a lot of coping strategies to do. This is difficult I find. My mind works against me. It says this is not a life. This is not something I should want to live with. I suffer. I suffer more when I attempt more. Doing all the things that are said to be good for me exhaust me because I am already exhausted. So learning how to live well with pain is something we could spend years learning. As well as treating any comorbid anxiety or depression we have as well.

Pain should not stop us from living. From seeing the people we love and spending time with them. From seeing our friends and spending time with them. From working, moderately and in an amount that works for us. When that is possible, because there does come a time when it is not, but when it is there are benefits to it. From engaging in leisure activities we enjoy, and if not the ones we Did, then new ones.

This Cannot be fixed. It must be endured and lived with. We have to find a way to live well with it. As best as we conceivably can. And then be content with that. With that moderation and limits. Not expecting more than that. Not feeling guilty that we should be doing more. Once we understand and know how we should live that makes us happy and content with our lives, we should do that. It should in no way make us feel we are not productive enough, or not enough or not worthy. This is the goal my friends. To live and live well with the pain. To not exceed our limits. To find what happiness we can.
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The crowded me out of the brain. Making no room for anything else. Distraction was impossible. You feel almost frantic with the pain but must be still.

What do you do? To get through it when you have no distraction?

I ask me this as I am really in the depths of a 9 level frantic level of pain right now. Hoping maybe some writing will be a distraction, but it isn't. As I said, the pain crowds the brain. I have to focus real hard to write and my head isn't clear. Too much pain to focus well. Things become quite difficult to do. 

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