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Day 8 HAWMC: I think I can...

Little Engine Post.Write a list post with 10-15 lines that start each with “I think I can ...” Write 5 lines at the end that start with “I know I can.” They can be big goals or something that’s been on your to-do list for the last few weeks- it’s all up to you
  1. I think I can start exercising again since I am not working. It doesn't work so well when I am working due to the compounding pain factor. But it is a good idea when not working because you don't want to decondition your muscles. Even though I haven't heard from the insurance company and have no idea how long I will be not working, it has been weeks already and I don't want to decondition. It is painful to exercise though even as slowly as I have to proceed with the venture. I know I can start slowly. Start at a small ten minute every two days. Slowly increase by a minute every few times. I know it will always be painful, but that it will help maintain the muscles and not cause more pain to add onto existing pain, which would not be cool.
  2. I think I can maintain my mood even though I am severely stressed over my insurance claim issue. Or maybe it is I hope I can.It has been all over the board and dropped pretty low and then moderated a bit. I know I can do the things my psychologist told me to do to help boost my mood and to manage my depressed thoughts when they come. So hopefully I can be prepared for the dips that do occur.
  3. I think I can start doing some light housekeeping again. Again since I am currently not working, I can set up a routine around the house to get some things done. The pain is a constant issue and some days it makes things impossible but as my psychologist says I have to find things I can now do that I couldn't do while working. And this is something that is important to me. Something that never gets done because of pain levels and I feel really, really guilty about it. I know I can do at least 10 minutes a day of housekeeping. My mom gave me this idea based on something she had read. So you tackle a different area every day and do a little bit something different. Just ten minutes. I know I can handle that, on pain days that are within the reasonable stretch of pain. Maybe I can alternate on days I am not exercising for example to start.

It is difficult at this point because I cannot do much at all when working, including the actual work. So that is a very crappy situation, which is why I am appealing my long term disability. So if, and only if, I get approved can I even consider doing an exercise routine, doing a mild housekeeping routine and so forth. Likewise, my mood is pretty dependent on pain which tanks when the pain is why work is a difficult situation. It is conceivable I can do these things not working. But not working is up in the air right now. This is a situation where my doctor, psychologist and pain doc all think I should not be working. Just the way it is. It is a straight up fact. But insurance companies are, weeell, quite their own beasts are they not? So this concept or arranging my day, health, mental health... and anything to improve my quality of life? But a vague hope at this point.
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