Skip to main content

Proof is in the pudding

Proof is in the pudding, as they say. My leave from work was declined due to lack of medical evidence. So I need to provide more 'evidence'.

this-is-notthe-lifestylei-ordered
I say the proof is in the facts. The very fact I have actually had migraines since I was 20 and chronic for most of that time. I have actually had leaves for this exact same thing. And a long term leave. And clearly substantial evidence for it. Clearly I have been unable to work. And I have over the decades done so many multiple treatments that I am considered intractable. Done them more than once. Mixed them together. Only an idiot would doubt the evidence at this point in time. I mean, really. If you simply look back in the records it is all laid out. Seriously, it is really ridiculous.

I get it. Insurance company. They don't like to pay money to people with actual disabilities. Sucks to be me, with a chronic pain condition that has gotten to the point of being unmanageable. Because it is chronic pain. You have to somehow prove that you have crossed that line from 'holy hell this is agony but I think I can somehow function a little bit' to 'holy hell I think I would rather just die'. It is a fine line. On one side, maybe you can manage part-time. On the other, yeah, work isn't feasible. Where is that nudge of proof though? Oh, yes, the suicide attempts might have been a slight indication the pain was getting the best of me. Hmm. Yes, that might be when I crossed that line. Maybe the depression alone might be a sign my pain is getting pretty complicated to deal with. I don't really think proof should be that I actually die. I don't think that seems all that logical to me. It made more sense to me to go on a leave when the suicidal ideation was getting to that peak point again and the pain was getting to that non-functional point, as evidence of my actual performance at work suggested. I don't think someone should have to die just to say 'told you that wasn't working. I couldn't handle the pain after all. There is your 'proof''. There really ought to be a line Before that line. Some sort of 'evidence' they will accept that says hey that person is Actually in a butt-load of actual pain that actually interferes with her Entire life, including her capacity to function at Any job.

I honestly do not know what they want for proof. I'll get my doc to send them the MRI that shows the lesions on my brain... which develop from having migraines a long time, chronic migraines and are prone with migraines with aura. It is proof of migraines, and chronic migraines at that. If they have the knowledge base to research it and know that. I will give them the neuro letters I have. I'll get the pain clinic to write up my current treatment. I'll get my doc to request something from my psychologist.

Fuck if I know if any of it will help. Proving pain is a damn hard thing to do. And it isn't just the migraines. It is the FM. The fatigue. The nausea. The goddamned depression.They are not separate. They all affect Me. They are all intertwined. I think my doc put me on leave from migraines but she should have put me on leave from Migraines, FM and depression. They all roll together to create serious problems. Depression being the obvious one. The more pain I am in, the more severely depression and suicidal I become. When I work I am in significantly more pain, so I get significantly more depressed with much more suicidal ideation. It is a problem.

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Signs the pain is getting the best of you

100 Symptoms of Fibromyalgia

There was a site that had this and I had linked to it on Tumblr but it is gone. So I had to hunt down someone who found my post and posted the whole thing in a forum. Anyway it is around but I'm posting it here so I will not have to hunt it down to reference it. Now we all know the major symptoms are the wide-spread pain, but our pain isn't just muscle pain... it can be nerve types of pain as well, and the fatigue and the insomnia. And even among symptoms there are some far more frequent than others, but it should be said we have categories... like the cognitive dysfunction, which is a broad one that has more than one symptom and we often just say fibrofog. The insomnia... more than one sleeping disorder. So the list is interesting.




GENERAL
__ Fatigue, made worse by physical exertion or stress
__ Activity level decreased to less than 50% of pre-illness activity level
__ Recurrent flu-like illness
__ Sore throat
__ Hoarseness
__ Tender or swollen lymph nodes (glands), especiall…

When I say I am good

When people ask me how I am feeling 99% of the time I am lying. I often say 'not bad', because I feel it is slightly more honest than 'good' or 'fine'. Got sick of fine. Anyway, I lie for many reasons. 



I'm having a good pain day: They happen and I'll say that I'm good, fine, not bad. I even feel like I can accomplish great things... in moderation. In which case, relatively speaking, for Me I am not actually lying. This is a Good pain day, it is Not Bad for me and I am Fine with it. I just don't want to explain: I just don't want to explain how crappy I feel and in which way I mean. Because I am tired of it. I just want to deal with it, without having to discuss it, mention it or have any sympathy expressed about it. Because it can be complicated. It may be a migraine with specific symptoms. Maybe it is a FM flare though. Or both. And then I have to explain what it is because most people think my migraines are the main issue but I could be FM…