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Showing posts from December, 2016

End of year: 15 favorite blog posts

High pain and mood drops

The correlation between high pain and mood lows is pretty obvious in me. I didn't need to do a statistical analysis and chart it out. It was Every time my Pain is High, like 9 high, my mood drops like -9. (Scale of 10 not 100 or 1000. Just to be clear on that).

I have talked about Paingry when intense pain makes us irritated and angry.

Well, it can also take a mood quite low. When we realize we have nothing that can lower it. No medication that can help. No medication that did help. And we just have to ride the pain out. But it is Intense. 

So I say things like 'It can't rain all the time' and 'this too shall pass like a kidney stone'... because I know it won't last. Nor will the horrible low mood.
But in the Moment. Well. In the moment, the pain feels so much worse because of that depressed mood. All-consuming. And your brain reminds you, always, how the pain will never really end. This pain will, but the PAIN will not, Ever, End. My brain is very dramatic li…

Christmas and health-related gift

So for Christmas I got a Migraine! Wait, that is actually the gift that keeps giving all year round. Today, at least, it was a late day migraine so I was pretty free for visiting with my mom, step-father, brother and his girlfriend. And that is good. Any break in the day counts. It is just really unpleasant right at this moment.

And I will say this I got a lot of cool health-related gifts this year which is pretty cool. Things that are going to be quite useful to me and are also very thoughtful.
Space heater- I have hypothyroidism and apparently No temperature control. So often I get cold and it is not cold in the house. I wear hoodies. I wrap myself in a heated blanket (last years Christmas present by the way) and I also wear winter fuzzy socks (which I got this year for Christmas as well). But I am always freezing. So my spouse got me a space heater I can bring to any room I am in, mostly the computer room, and just heat that space. It is awesome and what a grand idea.Himalayan salt …

Relationship ponderings

I should say when I am angry and in pain I do not take it out on my spouse. I just don't. I am angry I am in pain. I am short tempered with people who are morons. I get impatient at work with people who bicker about idiotic things. I get angry I have to work and be in so much pain. Which is better than depressed, which is far more frequent.

I was talking to my spouse about arguing. About what we don't do in arguments. As in we never say vicious things we would regret to each other. Not ever. Because you cannot take those things back. We were talking about how we lasted so long in our relationship. Got together when I was 20 and I am now 39. And how that is a bit surprising considering at a young age people change a great deal so many relationships don't last that long at that age. I mean what do you know at 20? Zip all.

And I said because I learned very early on you are very sensitive to the world choices I use. So I have always chosen my words very carefully so you don'…

Depression and medication

Psychiatrists Must Face Possibility That Medications Hurt More Than They Help
Antidepressants were the most common type of psychiatric drug in the survey, with 12 percent of adults reporting that they filled prescriptions for these drugs… In addition, 8.3 percent of adults were prescribed drugs from a group that included sedatives, hypnotics and anti-anxiety drugs, and 1.6 percent of adults were given antipsychotics.”
A 2013 study, Higgins writes, found that “the toll of mental disorders had grown in the past two decades, even as other serious conditions became more manageable.” He adds: “Suicide rates per 100,000 people have increased to a 30-year high. Substance abuse, particularly of opiates, has become epidemic. Disability awards for mental disorders have dramatically increased since 1980, and the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs is struggling to keep up with the surge in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).”I know since being put on Abilify that lack of wanting to kill myself…

5 Quick Tips About fibromyalgia

1: SLEEP: is vital. Therefore my tip is do not play around on the computer before bed or your smartphone. Get your brain all riled up with things and ideas and what ifs. No. Do things like read, in the quiet, dimly lit room snuggled in a blanket with a decaffeinated tea. Like a sleepy-time tea. Then right before bed, medicate for 10-20 minutes. Then go to bed. We need to wind our brains down. And then ease them into this whole sleep idea our brains clearly suck at. Not saying you shouldn't take your prescribed medication, just saying try these as well.

2:WALKABOUTS: The walkabout is pretty important for when you have to be somewhere where sitting is required. A family function, a work, function, school, or work. You can use excuses if you want but definitely get up and do a walk about for a few minutes. Walk around the office. Walk outside for a bit. Gets you moving those muscles that have begun to hurt from sitting down to long and also helps with mental fatigue, gets that brain k…

Proof is in the pudding

Proof is in the pudding, as they say. My leave from work was declined due to lack of medical evidence. So I need to provide more 'evidence'.


I say the proof is in the facts. The very fact I have actually had migraines since I was 20 and chronic for most of that time. I have actually had leaves for this exact same thing. And a long term leave. And clearly substantial evidence for it. Clearly I have been unable to work. And I have over the decades done so many multiple treatments that I am considered intractable. Done them more than once. Mixed them together. Only an idiot would doubt the evidence at this point in time. I mean, really. If you simply look back in the records it is all laid out. Seriously, it is really ridiculous.

I get it. Insurance company. They don't like to pay money to people with actual disabilities. Sucks to be me, with a chronic pain condition that has gotten to the point of being unmanageable. Because it is chronic pain. You have to some…

Woe is me

Yes, woe is me. For I am suffering the stomach flu, with a side of migraines and FM. I don't generally whine about the flu. I used to go into work with it because I needed my sick days for 9 migraines. And then I'd proceed to spread around the misery, but what can you do?

I actually am thinking of attaching a Lysol container to me and have it just spray everywhere I go so my spouse doesn't get sick. Because I have sneezed on everything... including all 3 cats. They were not impressed. At all.



Let's face it though. When those of us with chronic illnesses get sick. We do it Masterfully. We win at sickness. For example, I have not left the house in a week. So where did I even get this? My immune system is so low I just got it from being. I have the immune system of a 110 year old who likes to take strolls in hospitals and get sneezed on. Plus we often have troubles sleeping... which lowers your immune system. A stressed body from our illness... lowers the …

Remembering discrimination at work

I managed to upset myself with a memory. I was reading an article about malicious gossip and how to deal with it. Pretty benign. And then I thought about times I have dealt with that in the office. Mostly hearing it, and trying to be neutral because I loathe malicious gossip so much. I really cannot stand people who indulge in it. Anyway, then I remember the time when I heard about it directed my way.

And the memory was like a punch to the gut. This sense of real sadness. Because it wasn't about Me, it was about me being chronically ill. So you'd think it wouldn't bother me. But of course it did because I am the sort of person who literally believes everything is my fault even when there is no humanly possible way it is my fault. So I feel ashamed for being ill when I have no reason to be. Guilty when I have no reason to be. And when people blame me for being ill, think I am slacking, am not in as much pain as Whatever... I feel ashamed I have chronic pain a…

Isolation in the Great White North

I am going to tell you a secret. I am an introvert. It is true. I'd rather write on this blog than talk to anyone really. And I do not find this to be a problem. I like being an introvert. I think introversion is pretty awesome. I think a great deal about everything. I am introspective. Philosophical. Contemplative. Reserved. Reclusive. Hermit. All right so the last part seems to be the 'issue'. I have a lot of hobbies. And they all involve me and the indoors and not the outside world and people.
So what?

So my psychologist thinks isolation is a Big Deal to people with chronic illness who are not working (currently, as that is a work in progress, my leave that is) and isolation is a factor in depression.
And Winter is a Isolating factor in Canada.

I personally do not want to go out in This. As in, my back yard.

It is cold out there. It is windy and it is cold. And pain is worse when it is cold. And I want to hibernate all winter long. Is that so wrong? No, n…

When to Consider nonopiod Analgesic treatments