So two roads diverged in the road. And my body took the hard road. It made all the difference. I would have said 'Hey, look at that easy road... let's check that one out.' But Noooo, it wanted a different path.
So chronic illness isn't the easy road. I don't have to tell you that.
There about 801 things we do to 'maintain' our chronic illness selves.
And still we struggle. I know I do. It is the pain. It is a difficult thing to cope with. I can't function working with it. I get severely depressed at times. Suicidal even, because I want the pain to end. And still I try. Still I do my 801 things and try to maintain. Because although I want the pain that will never end to end, I don't want to cease to be. Not really. I want to cease suffering.
And yeah I rock my chronic illness self. I am still here. I am still trying. I am still trying new things. I try new ways to cope. I fight the good fight. I have kept my sense of humour.
I don't need to validate my pain to anyone. Or what I do or don't do for my illness. No, what I need to do, the only thing I NEED to do...is live the best life I can with the best quality of life and the least amount of suffering possible. That is the goal.
We have a hard path and on this path we need to be selfish with our self-care. We need to get the best quality of life we Can and try to sustain it. We need to decrease our suffering any way we can and maintain it. We need to live the best we can with a bad health situation. And it is damn hard work. I know my quality of life right now is a tad low. And I am suffering a lot of pain. It is difficult. And I have to figure out a way to make it manageable. Not working helps a little, but I have to figure out the rest.
Stay Awesome. Stay yourself. Don't let yourself diminish under the weight of the illness. Find ways to express who you are every day. Fine one thing that improves your wellbeing every day. Like reading a book is just for me and it calms me down and improves my wellbeing.
Know that everything you do off that 801 things we do, is for your wellbeing and quality of health. It is a routine and a habit to gain you more in coping, life, wellbeing, socializing, mood. Unlike others on that easy path. We have a lot of work that needs to be done to just Be.